03-31-14                                                                                                                                                               3:11a.m.

 

                I am watching this movie called “Wolf” starring Jack Nicholson. I didn’t even realize that it was over 20 years old(1994)  when I’d first seen it, I didn’t think much of it, but I was probably bouncing from one apartment to another back then because of moving around with roommates and shit. Anyways. This movie is so old, I hadn’t realized how old it was until now. The first thing that got my curiosity was the computer monitors. It was a monochrome monitor where the colors consisted of just blue and grey on and nothing else. Only two whole colors for an editing program. I DO remember using programs in the 80s and 90s and even using the computers when they were harder to work with since it was more of a “RUN” type of deal where you couldn’t turn it on without sticking a floppy disk into the disk drive and then letting it run through the program on the disk. I doubt it had any RAM back then because it would have run without it. It did not have a hard drive and if it did it, it was the biggest bulkiest hard drive ever seen in my eyes, and let’s not get into the memory capacity in it, lol. This brings me back to when I started going to school over at Manchester community TECHNICAL college. This was when the schools in CT, the local state schools were all TECHNICAL. They were changed to just plain community after 2008 or something. I remember the transition and how I had attained my associates by the time I’d gotten out of there in 2008, took me about 10 years to get out, but I did. I remember I was dating Nakia Rivera at the time, and boy was it something to be around her. She was such a bitch to be around. I’m surprised I even graduated because she was such a pain in the ass as a girlfriend.

                It’s crazy, but that guy from the show “Friends” Ross, was in the movie, as a security guard for a zoo, lol….what a trip this is. This movie was very underrated. I mean Nicholson was a great looking wolf. He already had those ice col Lycan-like eyes. There’s even the guy from the 80s movie “Pretty In Pink” and even Michelle Phieffer. Talk about a great cast of actors. I think this movie was pretty cool. I thought it was cool 20 yrs ago, and I think it’s cool today. Beats that movie, “Skin Walkers” which looked like bullshit with their funny looking werewolves. “Underworld” was cool, but it focused more on Vampires than the Lycans,two of the myths that Love reading about the most. When it came to myths and stuff of the mystical kind, I was always reading about them.

 I will bet you that I have a record for reading so many books. I would take out a book almost daily from my local library. Every single day I would go to the library because I didn’t have friends that lived nearby to me. One writer who stuck out to me was Edgar Allen Poe. He sure was strange. I read a lot of his books and even a book on him. It got into his life and his addiction to opium or something to that effect. He was a weird guy. 

A lot of people don’t realize how much I read, but I’ve always been an avid reader.i know about a lot of things because I practically grew up in the library and have never really left it. Some people like to call me “book-smart” because they don’t read and find that my reading books is somewhat awkward, when the real deal is that they are the dumbasses who decided to not follow shit in school nor read a book long enough for them to talk about it. I hate people who don’t read books because it means they little to nothing to talk about. It usually shows when you talk to them. Eventually I do ask them if they ever picked up a book.  Some will lie and say that they do, but they aren’t convincing me because they have jack shit to talk about. I don’t really care for fiction readers because they read about fantasies and shit. Nothing ever comes out of reading fiction. I’d rather know someone who reads books on non-fiction subjects because you learn a lot more by doing so. It’s the best way to get information on your own. If you were to take everything that someone takes you for their worth, you might end up being misled by someone’s misguided (and more than likely biased) opinion/s on whatever. You might end up brain-washed because you decided to take their word for it. I’m not that type of person. I question everything everybody tells me, even when they are being genuine. Most times people aren’t genuine so that makes me the more paranoid around them. I can’t trust most people for the most part. They always find a way to snake their way into your life and try to bleed you dry. Especially your own people, by this I mean my own fellow Puerto Ricans. These assholes try to f**k me over just because I’m the same radce as them. those tend to be your worst enemies. They take advantage just because they think we have some solidarity from being PRs, I don’t fall for that shit no matter how friendly these niggas are. That’s usually the catch among most of these idiots. They come around when they need you, take what they want, then leave you alone and don’t bother you until they can get some money out of you again. This shit even happened in my own family. That’s the reason I don’t talk to most of them or I just forgot about them and I don’t ever talk to them because I always hear the same shit and their money problems. Somehow someway, they always find a way to segue their conversations into some money woes, and it’s just not me anymore. They used to love coming to me for money. Perfect examples are my two younger brothers, Armando and Luis, both of these low lives would come to me all of the time asking me for money. Mando was especially bold in asking me for money so that he could go out to a club. The nerve of this idiot. Luis would travel all the way from another state to ask me for money, and BOTH would give me some guilt trip if I gave resistance to their request.  Why don’t you just grow up and realize I’m not going to be there all of the time when you need money. Luis was great with his excuses and his stupid little sob stories. He’s in a wheel chair now, so he’s where he deserves. I could care less about him. As for Mando, lmao, he’s a Parking Lot manager, lol…what that means is that he plays musical chairs with cars, lol…but he tries to make it look like it’s a career. He’s the most creative of all when it comes to lies. This motherf**ker’s always been an underachiever, yet believes he does everything better than anybody else. He’s always been my shadow, but he’s afraid to admit it. A nurse called me into her office one time when we were in High school telling me that he’d been distraught of my ignoring him. Mind you this nurse was white, and white people love being sympathetic towards minorities. They also love being nosey to the point of annoying me. I told her he didn’t tell me anything nor showed any signs when I was around him at home and I was at work most of the time anyways.  Man, Mando(or should I call him Man2) has been a bitch ever since that shit yet acts like he’s family to me. I don’t really care for him, nor his whereabouts, nor what he does in life, so he can just piss off. His friends are a bunch of crackheads the he doesn’t know how to let go of, and his love life, well, I doubt he has one, because he’s always had problems with women. He already looks older than me even though he’s two years younger than me. I guess that’s what alcohol does to you if you don’t control your intake. Alcohol makes you age fast, and it shows in my brother, everybody from my ex-girlfriends to my own friends think that my brother’s older than me, lol. I am glad that I’m not a lush like my brother because he sure is looking old. He’s even balding and has gained so much weight. Being 5’11” and weighing 211 lbs isn’t a good look. Keep being a gluttonous f**k, Mando. When you develop Diabetes(it’s just bound to happen) then you might calm your ass down, but I highly doubt it.  Everytime I told to do something just because it was for your own good, you would go the other way because you wanted to be your own man who could make his own decisions. Little do you know that you can’t make a conscious decision to save your own life, moron.

It was really funny when I noticed you being an online rapper, Mando. And your claim that you got your talent from your dad was hilarious. Nigga you got that shit from me. If you’re so talented, why did it take you forever to come out with your hidden talent for music. Why did it take you 30 yrs to come out, bitch? huh? Because you never had talent. Not an inch of talent in you and you never will have it. You are just trained.  You’ve always tried to be Maci, because Maci knew how to speak his mind and think on his own. You tried drawing because I did it, you went looking for a job when I did it. You even got the nerve to TRY and rap. You became a rapper at the age of 30, claiming you got that shit form your dad. Nigga you can’t rap, lol. I remember that hilarious video of yours that you took all over your apartment. It looked like you never left the house, lmao. But you’re a rapper. You never even produced your own original tape/record. You just posted it up online or burned it on a regular CD-R, nothing special about that because you didn’t spend any money on your own project. Oh, But you’re also a man of GOD now. That’s the most laughable because when in doubt, put all of your hopes and dreams in the care of “GOD”. Great, but God isn’t going to help you with your health moron. And you’re, it’s no wonder your girl dropped your ass and took on another low-life nigga to be her man. You couldn’t amount to shit around her. And she seemed like a good person, even if she was just as much a low-life as you (yet another medical field worker who is NOT a doctor.) She did manage to find another guy though, even if the guy looks borderline gay, lol. But those are the choices you make in women, lol. And I will bet you that you have never dated a teacher or a law school student, where as I have. My choice in women is that of a mature man who knows what he wants out of a woman, and a ghetto chick is not for me. After my few scuffles with them ghetto hoes, I got tired of them hoes. They’re too much of a headache.  The pussy is so easy to get that you could run the risk of catching an STD.  What was it that your social media page said about you and your girl, “love isn’t hard, you just have to WORK AT IT” was that correct? Lol…I guess you got lazy and started slacking in that department. Lol…you’re just a funny story to tell people.

You can be friends with my best friend if you’d like. I’m sure you wanted to make him your friend forever since you’ve been trying to be friends with my boys. You must’ve thought it was going to piss me off, but I’ll give it this much mention, lol.  Little do you know I’ve moved on from those types of people. I really don’t need his friendship. He hasn’t progressed much further than living vicariously through his four children. It’s all he’s accomplished in life. He knows I don’t approve of him living the way he does, and that’s the reason why I leave him alone andrarely contact him or his family. I used to be alone when it came to hanging out with him and he was too busy hanging out with losers who  he thought were his friends. Now he finds himself yearning to hang out with me, much like you used to do as a child, lol. You two should just grow up. It is sad that you both thinking like adolescents. I don’t need either of you in my life and I’m pretty much happy being by myself if some people can’t stand my personality. I don’t like pretending and I never have pretended to be any other person but myself.  Your poor excuse is that you’re a Gemini, but you’re only following what you read in the horoscope, because it gives you guidance in life since you don’t have anything to guide you. The funny part is that you consider yourself my brother, lol  I relieve your of your duties as my brother until you pay back the debt that you owe me. I don’t need people of your ilk because you’re a parasite. You are much like my boy who tried to get money from me so he could buy himself drugs and start selling again only to lose the money and never pay me back. My, how shady some people get when it comes to money. Good thing he didn’t keep pushing for it because that would’ve ended our friendship. My friendship to him is much like most friendships on social media: yeah, we get along, we just don’t hang out like that anymore. I can’t say I’m surprised about your weight gain. You never amounted to shit and you probably never will. I wouldn’t expose my kids to you if I had them. I know you don’t have children because I don’t. You’re just a follower.  You’re killing me with your emulation of me. Don’t you have better things to do like park cars or something? Your life isn’t much so you have to act like Maci in order to make yourself relevant to people who, otherwise, would never deal with you.

03-31-14

BP: 138/85                                                                                                                                                                    HRate – 85

TEMP 97.9

8:03 am

OMFG, it is snowing, are you kidding me? And it is snowing hard too? DAMN, it better look good when I get back home because that shit looks ridiculous. I looked outside and it was pouring out white like no tomorrow. I can’t believe it. Oh, my God.  I thought they were playing an April Fool’s joke on me or something. What is up with this weather.  I swear I need to get out of here so I can just walk or whatever. I just want to walk home. I am feeling like I can use a cane nowadays and I would like to order one if possible. If not I will buy one at the Arrow pharmacy near my place. No biggie. I am all set for coming back to work and equipped with some of the finest equipment too.

                OK, I took a nap and now it’s one in the afternoon. Hopefully the rest of the day is cool and I don’t have to deal with nonsenseJ

                What it with people, well radio personalities, asking celebrities when they started doing it?  I wouldn’t say anything about that. Why even go there? What does it matter to you. So Nick Cannon “smashed” Mariah Carey. I wouldn’t touch Mariah’s ass with a ten foot pole, as much dick as that bitch’s had

                I love how this fat resident, Luz, who happens to be taking state healthcare assistance, is acting like she’s still feeling like she’s not recuperated.  She knows damn well that she’s fine, but she’s got to game the system. These are the parasites that I rave about almost on a daily basis. I can’t stand people like her, because they know they will get that FREE assistance, and this will only leave people who REALLY need the facility’s help on hold due to this fat, ugly, ghetto bitch.  these types of people exhaust the state funded resources while those who really need help will be set to the side.  I don’t blame the facility workers, because they can’t tell exactly if someone’s in pain or not, but this projuect bunny wants to be treated like a queen. She needs to wake up because she’s not going to last long as fat as she is. The facility workers have to use an engine hoist to lift her fat ass and place on an electric wheel chair. I’m here using a regular wheelchair because I really want to walk again, but this waste of human flesh doesn’t even bother exercising so she could walk by herself.  I hate bitches like her and when I meet them, I don’t want to get to know nor do I try to get to know them. They’re annoying with their simple minds and their stupid conversations. They just don’t know how to relate to someone like me. I’ve been around these dumbasses and they can never come up with an intelligent conversation. Their conversations teeter on stupid.  It’s like they are trying hard to impress me, but fail at every turn. It’s just that they are too dumb to hold a conversation with me. I’m beyond them, and they know it. Some try to put me down or downplay my intelligence by making stupid comments about me, but that shows how insecure they are.  I don’t react to their stupid shit because they’re not worth any sort of reaction to begin with. Now, between “Luz” and the other fat bitch residing in this health care center, they are both neck and neck with how ghetto they are. They make all of these stupid demands as if people are supposed to succumb to their whims.  No one cares about your needs. And they’re so nosey. They butt into everybody’s business when they should sit down somewhere and shut the f**k up. I’m not trying to pay them any mind since I am here until Thursday, then I’m out of here. As for the rest of the residents here, I can only get along with so many Latin folks in here. The black residents are also a pain in the neck . This one character, Howard Dotts, hogs the TV in the public viewing area when he’s got a TV in his room to watch the Final Four basketball games. He even took control of the TV while people were watching it themselves. I wanted to slap his one-foot-having ass for pulling such a stupid stunt. He acts all entitled and shit. I’m sorry but there’s something about some people that prevents them from doing beyond the bare minimum. I’ve worked with plenty of them to know that I’d rather not work with them until they prove they do the job correctly and proficiently. White people may be scared of black folks pulling the race card and citing discrimination or whatever, but I don’t care. I complain about all types of incompetent workers, even my own Ricans. You can’t rely on anybody these days.  These Ricans around me think I’m going to hook them up when it comes to them finding jobs, but they are sadly mistaken. I am not here to hook anybody up. You better prove your worth to my supervisor/s or my organization. I remember when my former co-workers mentioned applying for a position in my department. I was discouraging them from doing so, but they were adamant about getting a job there. I don’t want to work with former co-workers from my former library job because a lot of them are plain lazy. They don’t understand that I’ve moved on, but they were going to find out how much of an asshole I would become towards them.  I’m sorry, but once I move on to another job, I don’t like communicating with them, I don’t add them to a list of references because I really don’t need them. I tend to use former supervisors as references instead because they were aware of what I did. I never did a bad job around them either. Sometimes I do think some folks I used to work with would f**k around with reference talks because they would hate to see me make some progress. These are the lazy motherf**kers who will never leave the job that I left. They will never leave that job because it’s the only good job they have, they aren’t fit for anything else beyond what they already have. And if they try to get a job elsewhere they won’t get it regardless. It’s sad to say, but a lot of Puerto Ricans rely on this type of behavior from their own people just because we’re all in the same race.  I’m sorry, but I won’t allow myself to go through that bullshit.

                Finally, this bullshit show “How I met the Whore of your mother” is off the air, GOD, I hate that show so much. I don’t care for NPH’s gay ass being on the show either. The show made no sense what-so-ever. I don’t care for the stupid show at all. It’s just a filler to kill time on that channel. I know that most comedies end up with stupid endings, but damn if this one made not points at all. I think this one just showed everybody was f**king one another, how many times did one or the other guy f**k one of the girls?. Seriously, this was just a stupid show. I’m glad it’s gone and I can’t wait to NOT see it next week J…too many shows arer just like this. They have no direction and have that dry stupid humor we all know and love. Most of the time they were all doing the same shit: f**king each other, and switching up who they were f**king. All the while being friends. Is that what all sitcoms are about these days: Sex?  How these shows pass on to become best comedies is beyond me. I don’t really like this stupid show, much like I don’t like Friends, Sienfield, two and a half dicks, etc. they’re just stupid shows. There’s a new stupid show called “Friends with Better Lives” I mean what the hell. It’s no wonder I don’t watch that much TV. It’s all a bunch of filler that you really don’t need to fill your life with. Most of the shit you see does nothing to benefit your life. They just drain you and waste your time. It’s all a waste of time, seriously. I guess I really am not into TV that much, it’s too repetitive and boring. Most of the shows I’ve either seen before and don’t care to repeat seeing or are not interesting enough to grab my attention. I’m being weird, I know, but I would rather read a book or listen to rain fall(as I am now before I go to sleep)instead. I guess I do get bored easily and as I get older I find TV to be the most boring shit in the world. Sure I’ll watch some porn or whatever, or maybe even a movie, but I don’t care for a sitcom or a detective show. First of all, there are too many detective shows, and how much more paranormal shit do I have to see come out on Television these days. TV shows seem to be heading in a dark direction and it’s very depressing. There’s a show named “Believe” that’s pretty laughable because I don’t care for paranormal shit anymore. Oh, then there’s Crisis, which seems to teeter on “Saw”-esque shit where of graphic violence is the  norm. Oh, there’s “The Following”, which looks weird, “intelligence”, which borders on RoboCop, lol…too many of the shows make you reminisce of prior shows that were way better.  I’m just waiting on them to come up with a new “Max Headroom” on TV. That’s all we need, some more regurgitated shows from the past redone to reflect contemporary issues.

                Maybe I’m exaggerating but I know that most of the new shows have very bad actors and actresses. I just don’t think any shows are worth my time and spending time watching TV while in this facility proves how boring TV can really be. How people get stuck on things on TV is beyond me. I just don’t watch TV like that. I’m not saying I’m too important to watch TV but these shows were just not appealing to me.