03-30-14 3     3:50 am

Countdown to the Thursday (hopefully Thursday) and I’m anticipating getting back to normal really fast. I am already feeling like I can put weight on my right foot, and I don’t care about what the doctor’s going to say because I think I can walk with weight on my foot anyways. I haven’t had any pain and my foot doesn’t feel any soreness from yesterday’s walking (of which I did a lot.  I think I might be able to walk with a cane after all. It’s just that now I have this one dude at the rehab center who might just say “flat foot” while I am in the therapy dept. I can’t do it until Marc says I can, but he’s waiting on the doctor’s response, from which I think it’s an overdue response. Anyways, I don’t think I need to go through all of the shit that I was asked to do. I will go back to work after the three weeks, and I will bet you that I will be able to walk like a normal person. I can feel it. Yeah, my foot is still a bit stiff, but I think it’s because of having not moved for so long. I mean, it had to get a chance to heal, and I’ve given it about three or four weeks so it should be fine by now. And besides I didn’t BREAK my hip, I merely fractured it. As well as my ribs, but they are also on the mend and doing nicely. I am in the hopes that this is the same results I get from the x-rays. I am no longer feeling the soreness I did feel on my ribs that I had felt about a week ago. I think one would get that when they’re limbs or bones are repairing themselves. Thank god I don’t do hardcore drugs and just drink. Although I do drink(and I won’t do it a lot anymore) I don’t do the hard liquor like most people do and I’ll be damned if I have to deal with any type of drugs. I have never been one to get addicted to anything. Even when my friends try to push me to use their drugs, I don’t do it, because I’m sure they just want me to join their stupid little group of druggies, and I’m not a drug-taking person. I’ve never fallen under the influence of anybody trying to sell it to me. I can recall this stupid bitch, Amber, who I thought was a friend of mines, was giving me a drug in order to make me a customer. I take not at first, but then I noticed that she was making it a bit more inaccessible. It was as though the bitch thought I would get so hooked that I would be willing to pay for it, but my mind is stronger than that. You see, people who take drugs love to leave reality a lot, and I’m not one of them people. If I want to leave reality for a couple hours, I spend my time in a book or something productive, not drugs or alcohol. Those two seem deleterious to the body and I’m not one to indulge too much on them (especially drugs). I do drink alcohol, but even then it’s just beer. I don’t even drink high ABV beers, which says a lot about me, yet people have this misperception of me that I’m some lush. They are so quick to place judgment on me that they fail to realize that I do watch what I drink, and when I do get a hangover it’s not as common as most Alcoholics. I hate when alcoholics try and put me in their group, because I’m not an alcoholic. They try to make me feel guilty for it because they were made to feel guilty about it. Even that Stupid group Alcoholics Anonymous sucks ass because they want you to feel guilty about drinking. Not that type of function never worked on me because I’m not a gullible person who can easily be manipulated so. And I have gone to an AA meeting, so I know what the fuck I’m talking about. People in AA are people who are week in their will to give up shit, and so they guilted into believing that they are alcoholics, instead of letting them explain why they drink and trying to see how they can curb that behavior, they’d rather make you feel like you’re doing something harmful to society because Alcohol has a history of being viewed in a negative light since prohibition, and some people still think that it’s dangerous. The thing is that everything you over indulge in can be dangerous for you. You could drink too much water and die because of “liquid intoxication” or something to that effect, in which your blood gets so watered down that it literally drains of you sustainable enzymes or something. Whatever it is you lose, you end up dying because of the deficit you develop due to drinking too much water. There was an incident that was on the news in which a girl had drunk a lot of water in order to win herself a Nintendo Wii. She had drunk a lot of water to see how much she could drink without going to the bathroom to urinate. Well, she won the gaming console, but she also lost her life because she had intoxicated her blood. All I know is some people can be very stupid in doing shit, and this is an example of the stupid shit people will do to get something that will mean nothing to them in a few years.

            This place was monitoring my blood levels since I was found intoxicated that night when I was struck by car.  They assumed that I was an alcoholic. Throughout my initial encounters medical professionals, I was being asked questions that related to alcoholism withdrawal symptoms without any mention to it. I was wondering when the fuck they were going to mention that they thought I had a problem with alcohol, but none of that came out. There were questions pertaining to the symptoms that would show the presence of Alcoholic Neuropathy.  Questions about tingling or numbness in my feet or hands or my extremities were prevalent throughout the initials assessment questions. I remember thinking”what’s with all of the Alcoholism-related questions?” they all asked me questions pertaining to alcohol. It was getting annoying, but I answered their questions. Yeah as soon as you say that you drink throughout the week, it doesn’t matter what ABV levels you tell them that you’re drinking, they all think you’re an alcoholic no matter how low the alcohol is. It’s funny how people just lump you in with a group of people without getting into detail. They just assume I’m drinking the same shit everybody else is drinking, but they’re wrong. And I will start drinking less ABV alcohol from now on because I don’t’ like the “drunk” feeling anymore. I don’t have to give up drinking, and drinking has never been a problem, though it’s the main reason I run into some problem where I might have died. I almost died because of being drunk and crossing the street alone. That doesn’t make me a fucking alcoholic though. It made me a person who had too much to drink that night. I don’t do that every weekend or every day. I am no longer going to bars alone nor going to any public space alone. I think that’s been done and over with. I can’t. of course it sounds like I’m an alcoholic who is lying to himself, but I have survived this shit  I can understand someone who’s been drinking for quite some time and never took care of himself but I do take care of myself every single day.

Oh, yeah, I can’t forget to go to Nonopro.com to get that hair removal kit for my face.

6:13 am

            LMAO, there’s a movie on channel 20-2(THIS channel) and it’s so corny. It’s called “Mutant Hunt(1987)” and there’s a guy who was fighting two mutant dudes in his tighty whiteys, lmao, on top of that, he’d cuffed one of them to a radiator, and the mutant took a machete that was hanging from the wall, and cut off his hand to free himself. The funny part was that when you see him cutting his hand off, the blade was past the cuff and closer to his hand, like part of his hand was going to get cut off. THEN, after it was cut off, the hand AND part of the wrist was hanging, being latched to the handcuffs. So the director or whoever does the special FX didn’t catch that or they were running out of time, lmao!!! AND then, when he fights off another mutant near the same radiator (because the area where the machete was at was nearby) you see no more cuff and hand attached to the radiator. LMAO!!! I swear these B-Movies are seriously bizarre. And people in Hollywood pay for this shit, lmao!!! Whoever is playing in this movie, he’s got Latin Mullet, porn “stash” and a room that’s so empty I’d be freezing in it. It’s practically empty. It’s so minimal, you wonder if he’s paid or if he’s just broke as hell. YET he’s got all of these weapons, which must’ve cost a good amount of loot, but his fuckin bed is a joke. I wouldn’t fuck anybody in it, lol. This movie’s over 27 years old, and it’s so cheesy, lol…I’ve seen better movies that came way before this one, lol. I think “Night of the Comet” was better and it came out a year earlier if I’m not mistaken. Because damn, this movies is hilarious, lmao!!! This “THIS” channel is too corny. Probably the only thing this movie has going for it is the women in it, because I’d bang every single one of them. They look like vintage porn stars. I’d fuck them all, especially the red head, but then the brunette is also fine as hell. She reminds me of Beatrice Valle, a brunette porn star from back in the day.  It stars Rick Gianasi. I guess he never lasted because it’s been 27 years and he should be in his fifties by now. Yet he’s not around. I wonder why? LMAO!!!

Niecy’s dumbass would fit in nicely with this wack ass movie. Her acting is so funny, and they’re short parts too. Lmao!!! I swear she’s a trip. It’s no wonder she was all humble about it. Her part in RIPD must’ve been taken out because I didn’t see her in it nor did I see her being credited for it on IMDB. I’m sure she would’ve posted it on there so it’s funny how she hasn’t made it, lmao!!!!! She’s making LOCAL, and I mean LOCAL commercials, not international ones like ATT or Sprint or Progressive (like some actors are) but Local shit, like the local shoe store down the street from you. And even then, they don’t’ post her face up to the camera. Her face was practically absent, lmao!!! BUT she considers that a job accomplished. Well, whatever, she’s been at it for over 12 if I’m not mistaken, and she still hasn’t gotten anywhere, and she’s 32 yrs. old. How much longer will it be? Women that old don’t get parts, men do.

I have to buy me stud locator so I can attach the TV to the wall. I’m going to get rid of my gaming system, because I really don’t use it that much anymore. I already want to get rid of the Xbox 360 because I don’t use it at all, and I’m tired of playing video games.

Some of these residents are just straight up crazy. One lady in here cries like some dying cat that’s been beaten to death. Another person, this fat ugly chick, just keeps repeating someone’s name in the same tone about the same pace, making one think she’s a broken record. Then this chick starts to cry with this funny tone that it makes me laugh hard as hell.

OK, so Laura Pausisni is one girl look out for. She’s a pretty Latin singer. Love Latin music sometimes, but not always. I’m just naturally inclined to like it regardless of what it is. We don’t promote violence in most songs, though some people have done. In reggaetone, it was done initially and I’ll admit there are some who still do it, but the most they do now is usually our thing: emotions. I have had enough time on here to know that Latin channels are NEVER boring. I am comfortable with listening to Latin women talking in Spanish. There’s something riveting about the way they talk their native tongues, and I love it. I love being Latino, Spanish, Hispanic, and Latin, of Spanish descent. I can’t say just Puerto Rican because I love all my Latin people and how we get along once we get past our differences in culture.

“Cambio de Piel “by Marc Anthony. Not a bad song at all. I wouldn’t be surprised if women still swoon over this guy. I had a Jamaican girl who loved his music though she didn’t understand a lick of what he said, but it’s the Salsa that turns women on for the most part.

Awesome news, my blister is getting way better; it’s just that the healing process is getting to the point of annoying the hell out of me. Now it’s more of a nuisance than anything else. I want to just rip my foot off sometimes because the blister makes it hard to try and walk normally. It is on the side of my foot so it’s really a pain in the ass having it be there. I have been getting regular bandage changes, which is great. .

            All I know is that once I get out of here, I’m going to take life a bit more on the wild side and let shit go because I could have lost my life a month ago. Just imagine waking up to a bunch of strangers surrounding you trying to revive you and shit and you have a bunch of IV needles stuck to your arm and they’re all trying to ensure that you are OK. I appreciate them all for the wonderful job that they did for me as I am thankful to the people of Trinity Hill Health Care Center. They have been treating me with the upmost respect and care, and I am so impressed if not so thankful. Leaving here will be a good and a bad thing. I will be leaving a bunch of good people who took care of me for the better part of a month, and I am so indebted to them. I hope I get to keep in contact with some of them, but if not, I understand, because it’s all business and not personal. It’s just they made a difference in my life, so I’m very thankful to them as well my physical therapists: Marc, Joe, Marylyn, Debbie. Debbie’s enthusiasm as well Marc’s patience with me when I was being a bit stubborn was over the top. I love them for it and I thank them to the hilt. I can’t thank them enough. Marylyn I thank because she was a new girl and was also enthusiastic in helping me and others out. It was pretty cool. Jo was marginally there, but his words of encouragement and all of their memories were mind blowing. I know I know that I was showing progress; but that they noticed and celebrated it was pretty awesome. They made me feel invincible and in return, I did better than most people have before, which is more than awesome,J. All of the CANs were just as encouraging if not caring enough to talk to me and never give me a hard time. Only one person I can say was a pain in my ass and that was the homo who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. I would advise him to get out of the business of CAN because he’s not a fit for the industry. People in my situation need people who are caring and understanding of our situation, and he’s too “cafre” about the way he handles the job. You can get a job being a maintenance man if anything. Just collect garbage since your gay ass doesn’t know how to deal with people. You definitely are not a people person. If you claim that you are, I would literally beg to differ. A lot of the CNAs in here handled my roommates soiling his clothes with professionalism and I have yet to hear them rush him for his clean up. They have all looked out of him since he’s a very old man(must be in his 70s or 80s or something) and I respect them all for it with the exception of that homo who’s always rushing him to the point of annoying me. I believe that when you take on such a position, you should come with a heart full of passion and patience to deal with the likes of my roommate who can’t take care himself by himself. He’s very lucky to have these people take care of him, and I’m sure he appreciates it. He’s never been cranky as far as I’ve known him. He’s a pretty quiet person as well. He doesn’t bother anybody.  I think he’s a diabetic, so his check-ups are frequent and couple of days ago he was x-rayed because he’d fallen on the floor of the bathroom not too long ago. From the girl who works the third shift throughout the day, most of the nurses had genuine concerns over his overall health and it was cool to see that they cared.

            If I were to make any suggestions, I would suggest they invest in more board games, because that bingo shit gets boring and I don’t care for it. It’s so boring I can’t stand it anymore. I’d rather jump off the roof of a building.

            OK, so I haven’t heard from this chick and it’s because I haven’t called her, but I think I’m just going to let her go and let her be. It’s obvious she doesn’t want anything to do with me; otherwise she’d be trying to get in contact with me sometime. I guess she’s just not trying to do for me anymore and I’ve outlived my stay. It’s cool though. I don’t’ give a fuck though. Far as I’m concerned, she’s not trying to get with me so I will just move on. If she wants to get with me, she’ll have to make the moves, because I’m not feeling this shit and so I will move it along. It’s not like I don’t have my contacts and shit, so it’s cool to do so. I’m not going to call her and nor will I contact her during the week, but she better have my fucking keys by the time Thursday comes up because I’m going to need them to get back to my place and live my life alone. I’m not with childish games and it seems like she likes playing them. I know it’s because she was young at the time that she got married and she’s never been on a real date with someone’s who’s experience in dating, I’ll bet you she thinks that I am trying to make her my girlfriend, when I’m not. I do want to go on a date, but I’ve since changed my mind. I no longer think we are compatible. Friendship won’t be bad, but a relationship with her, Nah. I’m good. I can deal without her or her nonsense. Besides, if she ever needs something, she can always count on me, but I think her problems exceed my ability to fix them. I can’t help her out financially, something that she’s pointed out earlier this month, and I’ll be damned if I do help her in such a way. I’m not going to get involved with anybody who’s going to drain me financially. I can’t fuck with that and she knows it. She also knows that I don’t’ have much to offer, yet she’s still talking to me? Why? She could have easily left me alone a long time ago and I would’ve gone on my merry way, but she hasn’t so it’s got me puzzled by her behavior. I don’t like it and I don’t feel comfortable. I do think that she’s lost touch when it comes to dating and is just doing it all wrong nowadays. She doesn’t flirt with me, nor does she even pay me a compliment, so why bother. She doesn’t say that she misses my voice or anything. It’s as though I was just talking to a good friend. If that’s the case, then fine, but don’t’ think I’m going to hang around waiting for you to come around and date me. That’s no longer going to happen and I’m no longer going to pursue her. She’s a good person, but that’s it, I don’t feel anything sexual nor do I feel attracted to her in such a fashion. Yeah, I could fuck her, but what sense would that make if I’m not attracted to her mentally anymore. She’s pretty much pissed away any opportunity to get my attention and I’ve waited long enough. Her pushing me away was just that, her pushing me away. Natasha did the same shit, only she found a man much faster so I moved on. I’m no longer going after Moreen because I don’t feel anything except friendship with her. I mean, I’m not mad at her or anything. I definitely like that we became friends, but we can’t be anything but. She’s already known about me more than I wanted her to know. She’s been to my place already too, of which I never wanted her to see, but I had no choice since I needed some things from there. I figured she’s a friend anyways, so she shouldn’t be bothered by the shit she saw over at my place since she’s a friend and not my girlfriend. I have other girls I can always talk to anyways, and I don’t mind it.  She’s mentioned finding out about me “trading me up” and I got pissed because of that, so I just feel like she’s playing too many fucking games and I don’t want to participate in them anymore. It’s bad enough that she doesn’t flirt, but she’s acting like she needs some brushing up on her dating skills because I’m not familiar with that shit, so…..if she wants to talk to me, she can always contact me. She’s not stupid and she’s shown me that she’s not, so she better start using her brain to call me otherwise I won’t be contacting her until I have to tell her to get me my keys and mail back to me. That’s all I want from her. She already knows that I can’t call her on my own but she knows that I’ve I don’t mind her. She doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about, then, Oh, well. I can’t say anything about that. As far as calling her later goes, I won’t to be honest. I already called her and she was busy. Why not stay busy for the rest of the fucking day. You know when I am going back home, and I hope you can remember to bring my shit back to me in time for me to be able to get into my place. Other than that I don’t care what happens to her. I do suspect that she was keeping herself from seeing me because she wants to lose weight, of which I don’t really care because I had done the same. I didn’t see her due to my concern over how I looked but hey. I couldn’t hide shit when I was hit by a car so there you go. Hopefully she doesn’t forget to get my shit to me before I return home. I am starting to hate how she’s been acting with me. It’s as if I don’t matter anymore, and I really don’t care for that shit, but it’s cool. I will just do me from now on. I don’t need her as much as she needs me so it’s not a big deal. It’s not like we were bound to be together anyways. She didn’t to see me when I was able to walk anyways. She always put it off because of some bullshit excuse like being elsewhere. After all of this shit I don’t know where else to go so I will no longer ask her out. I don’t need to anyways. And she can always drop off whatever at my neighbor Shirley’s place. I really don’t care what she does. I’m just tired of her playing her stupid games like I need to listen to her talk her shit while I’m recuperating. She’s going to miss out on a good guy is all I can say, but hey, that’s her problem. It’s not my problem at all. I will get myself up and I will throw myself back out there in the dating game. I don’t need to fuck around with someone who like pussy-footing around shit and she’s pretty much playing games with me. I’m not going to fuck with her like that so why’s she doing that to me? Anyways, I will just let her go and go about my own business. I am glad I got to know her, but she’s just a cool friend to me. When you do not flirt nor respond to my flirts without making me feel like I’m pressuring you to be my girl, what the hell do you expect to happen besides my getting turned off and going about my business. I just hope she doesn’t forget to get my shit back to me before I return home. She’s already skipped the whole fucking weekend and the bitch didn’t even go out, so what the fuck? You’re going to act all selfish and not bring me my shit? Really? OK, well, whatever. I will be expecting your ass to bring my shit by Wednesday night!!!  You don’t have to talk to me after that, and I’m sure that you won’t try to anyways so it’s whatever to me. And please don’t wonder why the fuck I haven’t bothered to call because it’s just the feeling that we are not going anywhere and I don’t feel like spending the time, nor wasting yours, of which you spend doing whatever the fuck it is you do with it. And I don’t know, but I also don’t give a shit. So just give me a call before you come to drop off my shit and call me later if you’d like, you have my number off of Pinger.com so use it. Otherwise I’m not going to contact you.