03-26-14

Supplies needed:                                                                                                                     BP:

Shaving stuff(blades, cream, clippers?)                                                                     around 145/ 94

 

What a day today will be. I think I will probably pay my rent and my light bill because I’m sure they are up there in sums. And OK, I messed up with my baby Moreen. She’s a sweet heart and she’s done a lot for me considering she didn’t have to and she only knows so much about me. Well, she’s getting to know a lot of personal information as well, and I should at the least call her more often than she does me. I just want her to show me she likes me. I just have to make a compromise and realize that maybe her way of showing me she likes me is not so obvious, but it’s just there. Maybe it’s better than being so obvious, because I DO get turned off when a girl is very direct. I don’t think I should judge this place too much, but the administrators are seriously cutting corners when it comes to supplies to the residents. I mean come on, watering down the fruit juice cocktails just to save a buck? dollars every day? Most of the damn juice tastes like medicine. Then there’s how much they give you liquid wise. These motherfuckers are always giving you shit in 4 ounce cups instead of 8, which is pretty much half of what is suggested as a serving by USA standards. You know, like 8 glasses of about 8 ounces each of water a day. So now I have to drink about 16 in order to meet the suggested “quota” for me to keep a healthy regimen or keep my healthy supply.

4:30am

I believe we have some blizzard warning this morning.  Next week will go upwards of 50+ so I’m happy about that. I have said since I got into this place that when I leave I won’t need to wear a jacket/coat to go back home on my own because the weather will be so nice, it will not matter. My walking is getting better and I think I’m ready to put some weight on my now-recovering right foot. I still get a bit of pain around my right lower ribs(#11, & 12) and so I am a bit stiff in moving that area around much without fear of doing some partial damage. Even if the damage is minute, it could be big for me because I don’t know how much it can affect the rest of my endocrine system. I have done my taxes and so will be getting my refund some time before may(I hope anyways) the last time I did that it took me about a month or so before I received it so I’m hopeful that it won’t take long before I receive that loot.

On a side note, people are acting ridiculous about the UConn game, paying hundreds for tickets when they can always watch it at home. I wouldn’t pay for that shit no matter how big a fan I was for anybody. I like the red sox, and I would go to a game, but I wouldn’t go to a world series game because I know it will cost me a pretty penny and I’ll be damned. I’d rather just go to a regular game and even then, it better be worth while. No stupid sports game is really worth going to watch live. I did go to a regular Yankees game when I went to New York with my boy Hector and his friend, this Sicialian chick Guissepena(however you spell that ugly b**ch’s name) who was attracted to me.

Let me tell you about this psycho bitch. you wanna talk about a walking contradiction. Well, Guissepena was just that. She used to call black people “niggers” and shit even though she had dated and African national student while going to CCSU. She even talked shit about Puerto Ricans all the while trying to fuck me. This bitch’s nose was wide open because everybody in her international group was on her bra strap except for me. I was the one she wanted and I used to play with her dumbass because she was such a hypocrite. She would talk all of this shit about Puerto Ricans yet knew nothing about them. She would even talk shit about her own people in her group of friends whom she hung out with. She was some foreign chick who loved talking shit about Americans yet didn’t look at how ugly  she was herself.  First of all she was fat, there was no hiding that shti, and she was very self-conscious of that. Even still, Hector’s fat ass and the rest of that international group, which was comprised of a bunch of fucking ugly South Americans who wouldn’t recognize beauty if it hit them in the face.  They were all trying to fuck her ugly ass, or so she would keep saying to me. I didn’t really care because she wasn’t a great fuck to begin with. It wasn’t so hard to fuck her. I mean she’s ugly so being with a pretty boy(me of course) was going to be a big deal for her so of course she opened up her legs like any Euro slut would (I bet you them bitches are easier to fuck than American bitches, J) anyways, this bitch who everybody called “Juicy” wasn’t juicy at all. She looked like a wombat, and her pussy stank like she hadn’t washed her ass. She always acted weird when it came to fucking with me. She was always trying to put me down, but I’m an analytical person who will figure out your flaws faster than you figure out mine. And so I would fuck with her the same way she would with me just so she could leave me the fuck alone and YET she still was trying to get with me. We kissed a couple times and we had sex. Well if you even want to call that sex, then OK, but to me it wasn’t. I don’t consider her special nor will I ever. She’s just an ugly person period. Her personality seemed like that of a miserable bitch who didn’t know her left from her right. She wasn’t very smart. She would dabble into socialist politics but that was about it. Oh, and she was a fucking Buddhist, lol…she would kill me with her bullshit because I don’t believe in religion. Any religion is made up shit anyways so I would make fun of her not killing the roaches that were inhabited her apartment, lmao!!!  If anything she wasn’t the best of anything. Come to think of it, I have never had a great experience with a girl from CCSU. Even Tanya, who happened to be from Hartford, wasn’t that great a girl to be with. Anyways, this “Juicy” character was just someone to kill time with and she was annoying the shit out of me. Talk about having a stalker on your ass. This bitch came to my place one time and I really hate introducing my girlfriends to my neighbors or even family because these bitches try and get the best out of my family though we haven’t established any type of relationship, so we end up with my family or friends liking the girl while I don’t like her and it becomes this big pain in the ass thing where people who don’t need to know about her ask about her all fucking day and I have to deal with that. For the most part I ask them to NOT ask me about the bitch because they don’t mean shit to me for the most part. It’s happened about two or three times, where these dumbasses jump to the defense of these stupid broads and it’s annoying. I had Evelyn back in the 90s, then there’s this bitch Juicy who was being defended by Hector’s fat ass only because he was trying to act like “Captain Save-A-Hoe” with her. I bet you that was his motive all along. Dumbass never gets to fuck anybody and so he thinks putting moves on his boy’s girls is the thing to do. That’s one reason I don’t really care for him. He’s too selfish and his fat as is going to die pretty soon if he doesn’t lose weight. I mean he’s over 380 lbs and he’s only 38. I’ll bet you any fucking money that bitch is diabetic and isn’t taking care of himself. He’s already had a bunch of health scares of which he’s opened up to me about, but I doubt they ever went away. He eats like a horse, and so he’s priming himself up for a heart attack if he hasn’t had one already. I have people around me who think they are better than me, but I fare better in health and finances because I live a healthier and more frugal life than most of them. They will never get ahead of me no matter what they really think. You can be good at one thing, but if you’re so stubborn to change your lifestyle for a healthier one(like most people I know) then you’re just asking for an early death. Hank’s already had a stroke at a young age himself, and it sucks because hes’ a somewhat smart guy. His diet, though, sucks, he goes on diets every other day and he needs to change his lifestyle. No breaks, no cheating at all. Not even on weekends. People that give themselves those “cheating” ideas don’t get far because they are really just kidding themselves if they think they are going to lose weight at all. Hector’s done the same shit and he eventually just gives up after three or so days.

I swear some white people just eat the nastiest shit in the world. I just saw something that was called the “steamed” burger, that’s served at this place called “The Lunch Box”  and it looked like some slop that was covered with yet some more slop called “cheese” lol…
            I can’t wait for Scot Haney’s faggot ass to get off the fucking air. He’s so fucking annoying it’s not even funny. He’s the biggest flamer on the morning news channel. He’s always just showing off with his off kilter singing instead of doing his fucking job,which is reporting the weather. Just stop it, fag. I don’t care what you think of my comments towards your inclination to suck dicks instead of pussy. I don’t care for you homos anymore because you have bit off more than you can chew and it’s starting to piss me off as a straight male. I used to be OK with it, but now you faggots have gotten to the point that you want more rights than straight people. I don’t think so. You need to accept that your is just off. I don’t give a fuck what you want to call it. It’s disgusting to watch you fags kissing in public. You should keep that to yourself if I have to do the same with my straight girlfriend. Yeah, I’m gay bashing right now, but it’s because these faggots have been trying to equate their struggle to that of black people. I mean, get the he fuck out of here. You will never know what it’s like to be treated like black people and how they have been so severely damaged on a psychological level that it transcends generations to this day.

I hope a gange of students and so-called “hard workers” get laid off due to this minimum wage increase. They don’t deserve it just because they didn’t strive to do better while in High school. Then again, some of these motherfuckers have never graduated high school, AND they want a fucking raise? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, sure, the GAP can hike their wages to be “fair” to their workers, but who’s to say other retailers will follow suit? I truly think that Obama’s just the worst president ever to reside in the white house. He’s literally disappointed me, but then again, I never liked the democrat motto of helping everybody no matter how bad their situation was. I have to give up my own fucking money to help these parasites and it’s pissing me off. It’s no wonder I’ve been voting Republican lately. That or independent.  More than likely I’m a libertarian than an independent voter. …OK, so I just found out where the maintenance people put my shit and I swear these assholes are dumb as a bag of rocks. They should do their fucking job correct and not fuck the whole thing up. I swear these morons are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to employment, and they hate their jobs for the most part. They should just do their job as it’s supposed to be done and stop acting like they’re smart and know how to do shit. Just follow directions, morons. There’s a lot of reasons why I look down on them. They never achieved shit while growing up, and now they’re not shit today. They complain about their jobs, but haven’t done shit to get out of that situation. They never did try to better themselves, instead they sulk in their misery. I am not a fan of most maintenance workers because they like to distract you from paying attention to what their doing by chatting you up. The second they befriend you, all of a sudden it’s offensive to ask them to clean something up. That’s why the white people at my job tend to NOT talk to the maintenance workers, because it’s all business, nothing personal. It’s crazy, but if you don’t pay attention, you’d miss that. See a lot of maintenance workers tend to be minorities and if you’re a minority who’s above them, they feel they have some type of connection to you and you’ll be cool with them. That’s why I don’t talk to them too often, because they get lost in conversation in chatting me up and forget to do their jobs. I remember how the maintenance employees would do the same over at HPL. This one guy, Leo Lafitte, who was PR and French, would chat you up to the point that he’d lost track of time and ended up doing less than was supposed to be done in maintenance due to his talking. He just talked way too much. Come to think of it most of the maintenance workers talked too damn much, and they should’ve just done their jobs. There was this bitch who works at my job looking to get my position, and so she asked me what was required to gain a position such as mine. Well, if I were to answer that, I’d say “well,a bout twenty years experience” because you can’t just sign up for the job, you have to work your way up through the ladder. And yeah, I worked in a place where I could have moved faster, but due to favoritism(oh, yeah, they don’t want to admit that, but there was a lot of that going on) I was always overlooked. I didn’t mind it because I WAS going to school anyways, so it really wasn’t hindering my progress. A lot of my co-workers at the time were idiots to rely on that place giving them a promotion. They didn’t bother with school to make more money or even make a better life for themselves. And so when they got laid off, they pretty much were given what they deserved, because they should have gone to school to make a better life for themselves if they can’t start a business on their own.  They were idiots thinking that since they had a somewhat rican as a boss, he was going to get them a promotion real fast. A lot of them came from the projects and had, as I label it, that “welfare mentality” where they felt that they were entitled to some position in life without doing much to get there. What a bunch of idiots. Conversations with them were so simple that it wasn’t worth talking to them once I left the job. I didn’t relate to any of them because I was seeing past them. I have no connections to them whatsoever and I’m glad none of them work where I work at. I have seen a few of them trying to get a job at my job, but only to not get hired. And it’s ghetto bitches like Monica or that African dumb fuck looking to get a job that was below them. I wasn’t trying to “hook” them up either. They were all clamoring to me to see what they could do to get the job, but I am not going to help them out. They didn’t help me out in any fucking way whatsoever. Come to think of it, nobody really helped me out   Not even my former supervisor. He’s just as guilty of not helping me move up the ladder.  I thank him for giving me a job, but in reality, I really helped myself get ahead. I mean, when I was promoted, you should have seen how hung over I was that day. I had been drinking so much, that I was open to conversate forever. Lol. I was so hungover and I aced the interview. I had my future supervisor there who was very tribal about helping minorities stay on top. He was there to chime in and give me that chance, for which I am thankful. All in all a lot of people did chip in to suggest my being hired, but most of them didn’t do much afterwards. I went to school all by myself and I made myself who I am today. I could’ve been dead or in jail, but I’m not because I realized early on in life that I didn’t want to end up like most Puerto Ricans. Working a 9-5 and accepting the scraps that the higher-ups give you was not what I wanted in my life. And I don’t go against most higher-ups because going against them really hinders your progress in any organization. Yeah some idiots call me an ass kisser, but don’t realize that they aren’t gaining anything by hating on me. They’re really hurting themselves in the long run because they are defeating themselves without even knowing it. I laugh at the people who doubted me, because they were too busy chasing fast money. I know some of them have been involved in crimes by now, and it’s sad because they should’ve just gone to school, but they have this “welfare mentality” where, again, they expect shit to be handed to them on a silver platter. I don’t know why it is I haven’t found someone who’s like me. I think that would be the only person I would be able to get along with because they would understand how I got here and why I haven’t stopped moving until I get to where I want to get.

            OK, our illustrious president is just looking like a fucking idiot every day that goes by and he needs to just step down already. Nobody cares to hear about his family visiting China just because they’ve never been there before. OMG, most of us haven’t been to China ourselves, so why is it a big deal for his family to do so? His daughter, Malia though, I like her. Can’t wait till she turns 18. I’d bang her. Though not as a young girl, but as a woman, of which she’s turning into. And I’ve seen many an actress turn into beautiful women who were already cute as children. Like Meagan Goode, Natalie Portman, all of the Cosby girls, I’ll bet even the girl from the “Bernie Mac” show. Most girls turn out to be fine as hell as adults, although the girl from “Blossom” didn’t fare out too well. She was always ugly to me, but her friend, Six, was a cutie, as well as Alyssa Milano. I can go on and on, but all I know is I’d like to fuck a lot of young girls who have grown up to be beautiful women, except for Keisha “Rudy” Knight Pullam. She’s way too young for me to try and do anything with her. And she’s a cutie, but I don’t think so. Evenbrandy was cute as a button, and I would still date her, but she’s around her 30s now, so she’s good.

BP: 124/ 74 as of 7:40 am

1. So far, after being her for almost a month, I can say this much is trending on TV
2. More shows on paternities
3. Conservative radio talk show host Bill Cunningham is hosting a show doing the same shit that Maury is doing. He’s such a hypocrite.
4. Queen Latifah has a pretty good show that looks better than I thought it would look
5. Steve Harvey has a Talk show himself, and it’s not so bad, he has flexibility to be himself and it seems like a laid back show.
6. There’s a show called “the Doctors” on Fox channel 61, which finally covered Sarcoidosis even if briefly. Hey, atleast it was covered. It’s a pretty educational show, almost like Dr. Oz’s show, though it covers more than women’s health issues, unlike Oz,
7. There have been about four people in CT that have been involved in a “hit and run” situation like me, where the fucking driver drove away. There are two in which the driver didn’t stop and just fled, while the other two I believe the driver’s stuck around. One was a teacher and the other one was a 8 yr old girl who were struck
8. There have been around two or three murders happen in CT, including others who were struck and left in the hospital fighting for life.

Morphine sure is dehydrating I have to drink mad water to keep from getting dry mouth, though I need it for my injuries. I don’t know how much more I need it, but I’ll keep taking it in order to keep the pain at bay.

I’m getting better at walking with a walker, though my insurance company wants me to go home and take it from there. They must be out of their fucking mind. I can walk, but that doesn’t mean I can get up the stairs, and there are 40 steps to get up to my apartment. Lord know how I’m going to get up there, even though I’d like to go back home, I have to make sure I don’t injure myself while trying to walk up or down the stairs, which I can’t do on my own and to go to work with a fucking walker is ridiculous. I don’t want to do that at all.

            I get surprised at the ignorance that runs rampant amongst these silly ass Puerto Ricans and morenos living in the facility. It’s almost like they never made it past elementary school. Every single one of them is plain ignorant to the max. I can’t stand people like that, but that’s who I’m surrounded by. There’s the fat bitch Luz who’s got more kids than she can imagine, BITCH should be her middle name because that’s what she is. Then there’s Blanca, another ignorant bitch who feigns having pain. She acts like she’s got pain in her stomach and when I tell her to get it checked, she goes back to normal. I mean, you want to. Talk about someone needing attention. I don’t like any type of attention from anybody and this bullshit with these residents is funny. I just found this dumbass named Alberto was being rough with the nurses. It’s because his dumbass has HIV/AIDS. Should have used a condom or NOT shared needles with infected people, plain and simple. Oh, well, fuck him. So long as he doesn’t touch me. Oh, I will kill him if he tries to put his hands on me.

            I’ve heard that maybe I could do the rest of my therapy at home, which I don’t think I’ll mind as long as I don’t have to go to work. I will stay home and.do whatever as long as I can. I was told I might get a crutch to work with, so I won’t mind it as long as I don’t get hurt. My number one priority is to get myself walking again, and once I get to walking, I’m not going to stop. I will have to walk more often so I can get in shape. I’m going to exercise even if it kills me. I have to do this because it’s for my benefit and my health, damn it. I am also going to cut down on my drinking as it is front and center when it comes to most of my problems arising and almost killing me. I will still do home brewing, but just not strong brews. I love my beer, but I like the taste of a good beer, not the alcohol in it. I don’t’ need to get drunk to enjoy them. Man, by the time I come home, my brew is, hopefully, going to be nice and rich and creamy as a chocolate stout should be. I just hope it doesn’t go bad on me.  know I took a lot of chances with this batch, but I just want to get a good batch for once. So far I’ve had only one good batch and that was the dark ale. It wasn’t bad. Actually it was pretty good. It tasted like a cream ale, which was not bad. The thing was that I thought it was off for my taste since I had never tasted a cream ale before. Now I know, and I will try that recipe again, J. I started my last batch on January 21, 2014, and will be back by the first week of April. I will have had it fermenting for almost three months in April. So, like ten weeks or so. Of course the bulk of the time was because of these injuries I sustained that got me into the rehab center, but I think I’ll survive. I hope I do get to go home and get my therapy at home. I won’t mind crutches, but a walker, hell no. I’m not trying to get into the bus with one of those. A crutch or two won’t hurt, and if I can do the therapy at home, then fine. I’ll just practice walking outside in the fresh air and eat my own shit while waiting to go back to work. I think it would be easier to recover while at home because I can do the exercises while at home and I can always take the time off from work. I don’t want to go to work while I’m still unable to fully walk. I want to at least walk with a cane or something.  I hope whoever hit me dies in a car crash, though, because they deserve to die. I didn’t deserve to get hit by a fucking car.

 

11: 18 PM

BP:       129/82

97 bpm