03-27-14

BP:  117/ 64 HR:

Good morning to all.  So I heard that I could probably go home and do my therapy at home on crutches, so I might as well do it. I am getting pretty tired of being here, so being at home with the crutches for a couple more weeks, I won’t mind at all. So I’m  OK, with it so far. We will see what happens so I’m good. I know that AETNA wants me out as fast as they can get me out so they can stop supporting me, but shit I want to go to work WITHOUT crutches or any type of extra assistance, you know. Hopefully I will be let go soon so I can recover on my own because my pain has gone away to the point that I can brave going it alone without therapists watching over me. I did pretty damn well with the crutches today, went up 38 steps and they segemented into three flights of different sets.  That was about an average of 8 steps per set and I did pretty well, so I’m waiting to be able to walk soon if I can’t already. I’m surprised they haven’t pushed me out the door, but that’s their ultimate goal: to make me whole again and be able to walk, for which I’m very thankful to them.

…One thing I hate is a faggot who acts like he’s better than me, when he’s really not. This dude must think he’s better than me or everybody in here because her sure acts like he’s spiteful and doesn’t give a shit about people. and he seems to come out with predictable shit like “the basics” lmao, he’s always saying “this is the basics” …I don’t know what the f**k he means by that, but you don’t just say “the basics”, which is some stupid way of pointing out that you get the basic food groups, I guess. I mean, mind you, there aren’t any basic food groups as all of the shit was processed on the plate. Please I’m sure that the milk, the tater tots, the greens, and the chicken is all processed shit. But this silly f**k thinks labeling shit “the basics” is going to give comfort to people. He just comes off as dumb as a rock saying some shit that sounds rehearsed. I wonder about people who have a chip on their shoulder such this moron. He acts like he’s got a snarky comment for everything, even what I was watching on TV. This is 7 O’clock in the morning and I’m not trying to hear your stupid comments when you aren’t paying attention to what the f**k is going on ON TV. Please refrain from talking shit because I don’t care for it. He must not have a life, and being that he works here, I’m sure he’s a loser. Can’t get a better job so he works here, most people that I KNOW that work in places like these aren’t too bright, nor big achievers. They tend to coast throughout life and don’t amount to shit except ending a person on Medicare or Medicaid when they get old, because their greed caused them to ignore saving for retirement or not even setting up a retirement account altogether. I’m sure most of them don’t save up for shit, and will SPEND all of their tax refund on frivolous bullshit too. Most of them are financially unstable, I know because I’ve heard them talk about their financial woes on social networks. And they want to “make it rain” when that tax refund comes through. It’s funny because a lot of people tend to point out people that do that, but don’t want to address how serious that shit is. These people will end up in destitute and then we, the tax payers, will end up footing the bill for these idiots. They’re just that undisciplined, and I think they should be reprimanded or taxed higher than me for keeping an account and keeping my credit up to par. That’s the only way people will get their shit together, with a little tough love.

…now getting back to this homo. Right, f**k his bitch ass. This bitch ass nigga can talk all the shit he wants, but he’ll never be where I’m at, as far as my observation has shown me.

…on another note. If any f**king girl were to cheat on me, whether we had broken and were not together, and then got back together, I will drop her, because IF we get back together, then that means someone’s still stuck on the other and I don’t care about it being a f**king “mistake”  the only thing I know is that you’re dumbass got weak in the pussy and you let another nigga f**k you, OK? I say this because I saw an episode of “the Steve Wilkos Show” and it was a couple who were going through trials and tribulations . OK, the guy in the relationship was trying to raise a family, but the bitch girlfriend that he had cheated on him while they were “not together” and so he decided she was no longer fit to be his girlfriend/wife/etc. and I have to agree with him. Her claim was that “we were not together”.  So that gave her reason to sleep with another nigga, yet get back to dude later on? Are you f**king kidding me? Mind you , the guy didn’t sleep with another women while him and her were “not together” obviously he wanted it to work and if they had to take time to figure shit out, fine. But don’t go f**king someone else. That can complicate shit, EVEN IF you are NOT together. I don’t take that as a reason to go f**k another nigga I remember that stupid bitch Nakia Rivera did that shit, even got a son to prove it. Good thing that bastard died though, because I sure as f**k was NOT going to raise some other nigga’s offspring. I don’t give a f**k what you say, you are no longer going to be with me. You obviously are not mature enough to put your selfish f**king needs aside and at the least try to stay true to me, so you no longer are fit for me. Good luck with your ratchet pussy because you’re a dime a dozen, cunt. She got upset and started crying and I’m f**king glad. I’m glad that he didn’t succumb to her childish shit and let her be. I would do the same shit because Kia was obviously being selfish and didn’t care enough about me to keep yourself from f**king another nigga. She also had the f**king gall to expect me to raise her bastard  son, who, by the way, passed away soon as he was born. Good for her, that’s what she deserves. She deserves that for cheating on me even though she thought we were “not together.” I don’t take that shit lightly because if I still had emotions for her and I wanted to work it out but take a break, I wouldn’t go f**king another woman. In my heart I am still with her and, UNTIL it’s done and over with, I won’t sleep with anybody nor date anybody AT ALL.  You want to be a selfish bitch? go right ahead with that bullshit, but don’t expect me to respect you. You’ll just be viewed as a hoe.  Sorry, but that’s how I am. I don’t f**k around and mess with other women when I’m wondering whether or not I still want to be with you. I don’t need extra pussy to figure that shit out. And for you to do that shit won’t make me trust you. Hell, for all I know you could catch some STD or a baby for being such a hoe. Perfect example was that psycho bitch Nakia Rivera. I have to say her name because sooner or later that low life whore will catch this online. I’m glad I can post up about her selfish ass. She’s such a whore, I should’ve posted up her naked pictures, but I won’t. I remember having a picture of her pussy because she’s  got  a pretty pussy. But that pussy is polluted with shit she doesn’t even know about. This bitch would catch some shit that she didn’t know about and THEN let me know about it. She was such a roller coaster that I got tired of her bullshit. And I know that our relationship should’ve been over, but I just loved f**king her. Sometimes she was annoying in bed with her not kissing me, and so I would just ram my dick in her so I could get some type of pleasure if all we were going to do was F**K. I’ve since changed and know that if she doesn’t cooperating with me or even communicate with me, then I don’t need her in my life, and so we’re just f**king. I’m not going to make love to her because she’s nothing but pussy to me after such a discovery.

4:45pm

BP 120/ 79

OK, so I’ll be going home sometime next week or so, and then I’ll have to use crutches to go to work. I think I’m going to take the Family Medical Leave thing so I don’t have to deal with going to work on the damn bus. Damnit I hate not having a f**king car. If I had one, I would be able to move from home to work easily with the crutches because I would be able to drive a car with my foot the way it is already. I’m getting better, but I just hate crowds, and these f**king buses are a pain in the ass to get on and take all of the time. To take them throughout the week would really f**k my life up. I don’t know. I think I just want to take time from work off though, because I really just want to get better at walking or more used to balancing myself at work and home so I can deal with the crutches, because dealing with crutches while going to work is a no no for me. I’m hoping to get to use a cab in order to back and forth to work, because seriously, I really don’t want to take the bus home or to work. It’s just too embarrassing and such a damn hassle. This is when I have to start planning on getting me a car, because damn, man, for real. I need to get me one fast soon as I get the funds, I will get me at least a bucket so I can get around in the city, because taking a damn bus is such a pain in the ass. I guess I will have to postpone school and shit, and I do hope to get better as I start to land on my feet(literally) OMG, I just feel like people are just going against me and what I feel I should be getting for some recovery care. I mean, come on, another two weeks can’t hurt at all, you know.  I can’t just get up and go these days.

 

I just want this shit to be over with already. I’ve been at it for over four weeks and now it’s coming to a head and I’m feeling nervous because I’m wondering how I’m going to deal with the transportation on my way to work. I don’t know, man, I really don’t know. I don’t want to ask anybody for a ride because seriously, I don’t want to overburden my welcome to someone’s access to a car. Oh, god, now I have to wonder what’s going to happen to me. All of this because of some prick who decided to drive onto my ass and hit me with his f**king car. I could take the bus and what not, but I just hope it’s not as hard as it looks and I hope I get to take another two or three weeks off from work because I really want to get better physically with my footing and balance. My only priority right now is my health and I don’t want to see any more f**king doctors until I get my legs to work normally. I don’t want to imagine going to work while in this condition, and yet I’m being forced to do so soon, and I’m not feeling comfortable about this at all. I just wish this was some nightmare I was going through and to wake up and see that nothing’s going on and I can just go to work fine. I am feeling way better than I did three to four weeks ago, but I still need some time to get my reliance on crutches to rest. I just want to go to work when I’m able to walk on my own. Hell, even with a cane would be OK with me. But not crutches. I hate this shit, man, for real, I hate this shit.

…

I don’t know why I do this. I start jumping to conclusions when I should just talk to her about how I feel. I guess I was just tripping off of the prednisone and it’s making me go erratic. That’s not helping me since I have a pending discharge from this rehab center. I think I can survive the crutches if I get some Family Medical Leave Time. I understand that I have about 14 weeks worth of time(maybe 10 or 11 left), so I guess that should work for me. She sounded different today. She was sort of on the mellow side. She seemed reasonable today, for some odd reason. I almost asked her if she was high on weed, because she seemed way too mellow. And she wasn’t argumentative. I was a bit open myself. I just feel that she’s there for me in ways that I’ve never had anybody else be there for me and that counts more than anything. It means more than just having a pretty face(which she has already)