So, today, I did some yoga, and I can tell you right now that I am out of shape. I have a gut that doesn't quit and I'm just praying that my workouts give me some type of relief because my meds are keeping me fat as all fucking hell. anyways. I am  hopeing to get rid of all of this fat by dieting and pretty much living the life that I ignored due to the meds, which wasw being more active and eating/ cooking healhtier. I am pretty much done with dating and I don't really care to talk to any woman about anything until I feel like I am comfortable with myself around a female. All of the broads I've dealt with lately are either ghetto or just plain fat or stupid. I have my standards, and I'm not going to forgo them just because I want some pussy. I can't just fuck a girl anymore. I have to get to know them because of the STDs that are around. having caught some of the bacterial shit, I'm not trying to risk my life and having Sarcoidosis doesn't help either. Most of the broads I've talked to just get on my nerves after a while.

this crazy bitch must think I'm stupid pulling the shit that she has been pulling for the past month or so.

Moreen

So, I bumped into this girl I used to talk to, Moreen(or Maureen, the spelling wasn't even correct for all I know) She was at this Supermarket that I frequent, and she decided to talk to me. I didn't even recognize her, though I thought I'd seen her, but wasn't sure. Anyways, she was talking to me like she gave a damn about me. I didn't really care to talk to her so I just gave her small talk as we all do with people you don't want to have a confrontation with. I realized then that she's not all that great looking, because the girl I'm talking to is waaaaaaay better looking, AND has a great personality,  :).......anyways, after we said what we said I kept it moving. Yes, I have to document this, because it was interesting to see her after not hearing from her for so long. I mean, why even talk to me except to save face? I didn't care to talk to her, but she recognized me after not talking to me or even seeing me for a very long time. Anyways, she went her way and I went mine. I don't get why women act as though they have to talk to you like they need to explain some shit that they forgot to do. It was just funny seeing her and she doesn't look all that great when you compare her to her photos online. Anyways, that is a bit of what I wanted to talk about. I liked her a while ago, but after no contact, do you REALLY think I'm going to stick around? just leave me the fuck alone, bitch. I'm not into your dumbass anymore so you can keep it moving. If you see me again, just leave me the fuck alone. I don't need you and you already indicated that you don't need me, so whatever. I find it funny that she wanted to talk to me after ignoring for what seems like months. I find someone who makes me happy, and I have to bump into this bitch. Sorry, but she's a bitch. 42 with two kids and acts like some dumbass teenager who wants a man who's got everything, but doesn't bother putting in the work to get herself ahead. Whatever, man. I'm not with that. At least the girl I'm talking to knows what she wants and will go for it rather than wait for a man to fulfill her wishes. She'll be waiting for a very long time if she's trying to do that with me as I am still in school trying to fulfill my dreams. I also noticed that she has no ass so it's cool to not deal with her, :) I can't deal with a girl who's got no figure. I do thank her for her help, but that's where it ends.

04-03-14

BP: 118/68                                                                                                      HR 83

OK, I can’t go to sleep because I have a splitting headache now. What the hell, man. I think I should stop taking the morphine because I think it’s messing with my head. That jimmy fallon is a trip. I don’t know why they keep checking my “vitals" I’m thinking because of the prednisone I’m still being monitored, but hey, I’m down the 20 mg on Prednisone so I should be OK. I don’t have high blood pressure or it’s not so high so I’m doing OK so far. I am having a full blown f**king headache at the moment though (12:50 am) and I’m

Wow that damn pill knocked me out, I must’ve been out for hours. I know I went to sleep around 3 am or something. Anyways, it was cool to do so,J..I was told that I was a good patient when I was asking for some Tylenol after being the option to take THAT or OxyContin, lo The nurse said “you’re  good patient, most of the other residents take the DRUGS” lol….wow, that says a lot about the people that reside over here. Either they are addicts/former addicts, or they don’t really care about how they pollute their bodies. And then they wonder why they are so addicted to s**t that they shouldn’t be addicted to.  I’m just not one of those people who have an “addictive” personality. I’m not prone to addiction because I’ve never had such a f**ked up life that I need to self-medicate to escape life. Escapism isn’t my thing, especially the chemical type.  Maybe I can do it holistically, but not with no f**king chemicals. That’s way too much for me to handle. So today was the original date of my departure, or it was my preferred day to go home, but I guess I will be taking off tomorrow. As long as Chelsea fills this form that needs to be filled I will be OK with what I: have to do to get this FMLA business going on. I hope she doesn’t forget to fill it out because I need to be off from work for another 2 weeks or so that I can get myself a cane before I go back to work.  And I cannot wait to go back to work. I am so tired of being in this f**king place it’s not even funny. I’m ready to get the f**k out. I am all set. All I need is this forms filled and I will be OK. Thank God for this lady over at Human Resources. I need all the assistance I can get, J

Lmao, the HPD is the best dressed. That’s because when you do NO WORK, you’re ass doesn’t get touched, hence being so damn “best dressed” nothing gets ruffled. Lol…these people are a joke.

Damn, this “Paternity Court” is something else.  Sometimes ghetto folks make no damn sense. They can be so simple, yet complicate s**t when you try and help out.  I’m watching this episode and its crazy how trifling some women can get. She’s got two dudes in court, accusing both of them of being the dad, but come to find out neither are the dad. So now It’s, like, who was she f**king then? Man that is one polluted hoe. I wouldn’t trust her ass at all. For anything. I have had one pregnancy scare (OK, two) and to this day nothing’s come of it, but of course that was over 12 yrs. ago, so who knows. Both of them were from out of state so they could have my child and I don’t know s**t about it. I lost contact with both so who knows, they don’t know my last name so I wouldn’t be found. Well, the one who probably lied to me about taking the day after pill doesn’t know. She knows nothing about me, so she couldn’t find me even if she wanted to. She doesn’t even know my real name. I gave her my nickname so it’s not like she’d find me. If I have a 12 yr. old, I’d like to know about them and how they are doing, I don’t know if I can take care of them, but I won’t deny them being their dad and I will do my best to do what I can, but the bitch better not try to extort my ass.  She’s loose cannon anyways, so I’d get custody of my child regardless because I have a better job than her. She’s never gotten an education and when she said she was going to.  She was just blowing smoke up my ass.  What a silly bitch. Why say you’re going to do something to keep me around when you know damn well you weren’t going to do s**t.  See dumb people think they’re slick, but they’re really not. Just because they got by on someone who went to college just to say they went to college but never did master critical thinking or how to use it. That doesn’t mean you can pull that s**t on me. Pussy can only take you so far. .

Witnessed something that happens way too often in places like this where the majority of the workers (non-administrative) are minority.  One of the maintenance ladies(latina) was complaining because a substitute worker(black or Jamaican) didn’t do the work she was supposed to do while she was gone for a couple of days. So today, when the latina worker comes in to do her job, she’s told that there are things that need to be finished, but they didn’t do is check that other bitch and tell her that she needed to finish up the s**t they’d left undone. And what pisses me off is that she wasn’t told s**t because the supervisor was the substitutes f**king family member. . Favoritism at its worst.  This s**t happens all of the time, especially in the service sector.

This only proves to me that Latinos ARE proven to be hard workers.  I’ve always seen Latin maintenance workers work harder than any other race and it’s because they take pride in the shti that they do, no matter what it is. They take on a task and finish it if anything. I was never the maintenance type, but my work ethic is still stronger than most people and it shows in my performance at work. I always get along with most of my co-workers, though I need to do a little better to get along with others. I need to lighten up too and realize my job isn’t that demanding and I shouldn’t expect a lot from my co-workers as well. They all work at their own pace and that’s how it should be at a job that doesn’t demand productivity in order to make a profit-profits come from our services to students, and we perform this very well.  Sometimes I think my girl is just what I need in my life, because she’s so happy-go-lucky, and doesn’t let a lot of things bother her. I think anyways. Anyways, she is kind of adorable when she gets frustrated, which kind of turns me on. She must like something about me so I’m OK with it.

So finally John Rowland quits his radio show. F**king a**hole was talking all types of s**t about the current governor and how s**t should run in local government, but he was responsible for corruption. And he kept at it all the while pretending to be such an upstanding citizen, lmao!!! I’ll bet you his fans are such c**k suckers that they will come up with excuses to why he should be forgiven, lmao!!! He would get on the radio day in and day out talking so much about how s**t should run in CT politics. Spewing his bulls**t got him a lot of fans because he was running an ideal government, but people forgot that he wasn’t running government how he spoke about during his long run as governor. He’s a disgrace and I’ll bet you they will forgive his ass.  he should me and example of, nevemind forgiving him. And WTIC, the despicable radio station that took him in, a corrupted governor to begin with, after he came out of prison. They should be ashamed of themselves. That dick head sal Haney should be eating tons of crow now. I won’t be listening to that station too often. The conservatives talk like the liberals act like a bunch of criminals, with their sheep group of an audience following them, all the while ignoring their own party, who actually get caught. And I’m glad they have been blasting this shit throughout the whole week.   I’ll bet you his c**k-sucking supporters are saying s**t like” why are they still talking about him in the media.” What a bunch of sheep. They followed his every f**king word. This a**hole would come up with frivolous facts about the CT government, claiming it’s true and people would believe his ass. it was hilarious how people would hang onto his every word. What a bunch of sheep those listeners are. I no longer can listen to that radio station because they are pretty much hypocrites and should be ignored for ignoring the people and their distaste for this governor who pulled the wool over people’s eyes yet again. Sleazy politicians always say shit like “I need to focus on family” or they’re quitting public life for “personal reasons” when they need to stop

So here I am, Friday, the 4^th of April, when I’m supposed to go back home to finish up my physical therapy, and they’re taking forever to get me out of here. I can’t wait to work on my computer whose screen is cracked. I have to look up an HP mini and see If I can buy one so I can replace it with my job’s computer since it fell off the damn table yesterday.  It fell and fucked up the USB jack on the side where the flash drive was.sure my flash drive is OK, but I can’at say  

104-02-14                                                                                                                                                            1:50 am

 

Hey, good morning,I always wake up around this time, I think I like “King of Queens” it’s probably the best show on TV. Ray Romano’s  show sucks ass.

I can just imagine what that son of African immigrants is like:

He’s probably never heard of Farrahkhan and although the minister will praise him for giving a good light to the African nation, that kid won’t acknowledge anything about him. I can imagine the black professor from Harvard hoping the child takes his class on African American History, which the student will probably NOT take, and so that professor will be pissed. Trust me, he’s going to have African americans, not Africans themselves, but the American ones, hating his ass for being so smart. And I’ll bet you his parents alone don’t care for African Americans themselves. I’ve seen them interact and I know they don’t get along with one another. They don’t have nice thing to say about each other. I remember a black co-workers, who I think is as dumb as a rock, was saying one time that when she goes to that hair salon, she doesn’t like it when the ones who service speak in their African language. Saying some shit like “this isn’t Africa, speak English”. That’s just a taste of what someone of her ignorant ilk do to make themselves feel better. It’s a typical way for black people to put down Africans, because Africans frown upon blacks themselves. I’ve heard them brag about being so ambitious once you get to America, but they never once mention the shit they could accomplish in Africa since Africa gives them no opportunities. My thing is: Why is it that America is the ONLY place that you can conquer the world. Why not try it in Africa yourself. I think that once you get to overcome the tyrants of the African nations, will you be truly successful. It seems to me that being in the U.S. is more of a cop out than anything. It’s nice to see a person being accepted to a white elite school, but what’s the use if you have to pretty much lose your own identity(trust me, he’s lost that years ago) to assimilate to a white standard.  It’s sad to think that we have been brain-washed to believe that a white standard of living is the way to go.  Again, I’m not hating on him, but I would also blame his parents for pushing him to think like a white man, at the same time I commend them, because at the time, it’s all one can do to get ahead. Once you have the cards stacked against you, you have to change the way you play the game in order to beat your opponents. Even  if it means joining them to beat them.  and this Kwasi character didn’t just pick out some sily ass program to get into, he chose either Cardiology(heart surgeon) or Neurology(brain surgeon) I mean, damn. It’s not like the black kids at this school I work at that choose easy subjects like “African History” or some other easy shit where you become successful, but you’ll never be as smart as this Kwasi kid. It’s OK, but it just seems like they took the easy way out. My ex took Spanish as her major at a some-what ivy league school.  It wasn’t the best ivy league, but it was good enough for her to get a job afterwards.She’s a Spanish teacher, which, isn’t that much of an accomplishment because I know Spanish so I can imagine how far I would get with such a degree.  And the thing about this Kwasi kid is watch him get a white girl as his girlfriend and eventually wife. Those extreme nigroes go that route because they feel that black women aren’t smart enough for them, or they are too strong for them to deal with. Even African women themselves. Trust me, they are as brainwashed as the next person about white influence.  I just saw a story on Darius Rucker, another black man who’s transcended boundaries by being a country star and making a name for himself in that genre. He’s also married to a white girl.  I’m just glad I’m not black, because I would hate to have to go through that mental stress of being black myself.  It’s bad enough that we as latinos/Hispanics are still trying to find our niche in this country, but to be a black person and still be struggling after being here for 400+ years is crazy as hell.  Even latinos have made strides whereas black folks have not.  Again,I’m not hating on this African kid, but that is how people will see him. Just like they saw Obama go on the become president(though no parents from Ghana). I wonder if they will question his place of birth in being from Africa and NOT from New York, lol.  Let’s face it, white people have done this to themselves. The world is brown, not white and they are just trying to survive as a race. The U.S. is the first victim to succumbing to brown people, and it’s not looking good  for them these days.

  And I’ll bet you they(both white and black people alike) will also say that he was chosen as an Affirmative Action move. Some people just can’t accept that he is just smart and determined.

Woke at at around noon, and I am waiting to eat some lunch. I hope that I am still being fed since I was discharged from physical therapy today. I am no longer supposed to go and exercise my feet, but I do have to stay put until fucking Friday. Why’s it that everybody is questioning why I am still here till Friday except for the damn administrators. I am still taking morphine even though pain is no longer present in my system.  I only feel a little discomfort, but that’s it, nothing to make a big deal out of, but still. I could get addicted to morphine if I stay on that shit, so why don’t these fucking nurses notice this? I am just pissed off with the way these people have been acting lately. It’s been happening since Tuesday, well, more like Friday, when that skinny white bitch talked to me about my exit out of here. How am I supposed to leave without you guys providing a damn ride to my house? Eh? If that’s the case then what the fuck was I doing on the ride over here? I didn’t ask for this shit. I just said I wouldn’t mind it no need to take me there, but I’m thinking the assholes at St. Francis figured I couldn’t afford to stay over there, and took me to this shit hole.   I don’t think I am going to praise these people anymore because they are starting to piss me off as my stay comes to an end at this place.  They are giving me reasons why they get complaints from current and former residents of this place. And to think that my ex used to work at this place. I am surprised that she doesn’t work here anymore.  It doesn’t seem like it would require people to be skilled at anything since most of the workers have done something they usually don’t do one time or another. I mean, not to be mean, but Jenny wasn’t much of an achiever and probably would’ve been stuck here for the rest of her life. Anyways, this one lady, who didn’t have training on a transport handle my transportation like an idiot. First she stopped the damn van where, once you open up the ramp, my wheelchair was going to run onto a snow bank. So this bitch pushes me onto the damn bank, then proceeds to move me, in the wheelchair, around the whole fucking van haphazardly without looking towards the front to make sure there was no fucking car there to hit me once she pushed me toward, because that’s what this twat did to me. What a fucking cunt. I swear I wanted to slap her for being such an idiot. I could’ve gotten hit by a fucking car, yet this bitch, just rushed me past the fucking van towards the open area where cars could go through and possibly hit my ass while on the chair. I swear that bitch was fucking idiot.

Anyways, now I have to call the Human Resource Department and talk to them about taking FMLA time off because I just received the form yesterday and I have to figure out what to do with the forms now since they are about a week late from the time she posted that I had so I’m pissed because everybody is acting like a bunch of idiots when it comes to my insurance and my employment situation. How the hell are you going to tell me that you were going to fax this place the forms and didn’t do so. I could’ve sworn that it was going to be faxed, and not sent by mail. It’s not like I was ignoring the process, but I wasn’t in the greatest state of mind. I was drugged half of the time to think about what was happening to my damn coverage. I was too busy trying to get myself better.  I wasn’t prepared for this shit where I had to fill out a form near the end of my stay to find out I’m late for eligibility for my benefits. I can’t fucking stand how lackadaisical people are acting. I was not responsible for getting hit by some asshole who paid no attention to traffic lights.  I just hate how people can act when they have to do things for you. Like they don’t feel that I need to be helped or something. First it was St. Francis and their shoving me the fuck out of their facilities,even though I my apt. was near them. then it’s this dumbass social worker who acts as though she’s too lazy to do shit in here for me. She’s promising me shit but never comes up with results. I’m still waiting on her to tell me about the fax that she supoosedly sent to my job. It’s just pissing me off that people are acting so damn loose with their job responsibilities. I feel like I’m going to end up with another fucking debt that I do not deserve.

                It’s funny to see Queen Latifah having her own talk show, acting all jolly and shit like she’s enjoying that shit. I mean, if I see KRS-One doing a talk show and acting all happy-go-lucky, that ‘s going to be the end of me, lol. I swer I will jump off a roof.

BP: 120/71                                                                                                                                                                       HRate 92

Chef Derrick Walton: Homeless person who worked his way up to being a restaurant owner.

Back to the lab, I’m waiting for my damn stay to end on Friday, and I can’t wait to get the fuck out already. Thank god the days are flying by, I can see myself walking home already. J I will have to pay something for my insurance plan, for which I will have to take on a payment plan (the bills just keep piling on!!!)

I noticed that people have been acting funny around me though, like they know I’m leaving and their miserable asses need to keep sizing me up or something. I don’t care though. My time is up on Friday and I’ll be glad that I’m gone. I do hope I can leave earlier than most times though, because I’d like to leave fast as possible. I don’t care what the fuck they do, and if I have to pay for my own fucking cab, I will take the cab. Fuck it, I don’t care anymore. My girl was right, if I was given two days instead of a specific day, then just take whichever they give you, right? The thing I hate is that I’m going to have to pay for that shit, well, fuck it, I will also take time off as well to get my ass correct.

Oh, General Motors CEOs are acting like they didn’t know what the hell was going on, and have been participating in secret activities. Are you serious? I’m glad that they are under fire, because 13 people have passed away due to their inherent negligence. And this is after they were bailed out by the American people, I say the people because this fucking President bailed them the fuck out. I hate this fucking POTUS. He’s been fucking up since day fucking one, bailing them out was the first of many errs on his part.  I find it funny how a lot of shit has been coming out of the woodworks due to a lot of malfeasance. I’m sure this dumbass POTUS should be

How fucking annoying that people want to know who won the lottery. Who fucking cares. I mean damn, really? What’s with people trying to figure out who he is anyways. I sure as hell don’t care about who he is. And who is Brooke Burke anyways, and what do I care about this stiletto heel murder. I am so glad that this week is flying by so that I can get back home. I’m starting to get home sick and I’m hoping that my days of not walking are gone forever after these next three weeks, but I know I’ll still have to keep moving along. I’ll still have to see this doctor on April 14, but I think I’ll be fine by then. I will be gone for the rest of the year and I don’t care if I don’t come back. I’m glad I went through this, but I need to get home already. I am starting to feel like I don’t belong here and people here are starting to get annoying. Usually this happens as people are getting ready to leave an area where they’d rather not be at. That or the person leaving distances themselves from everybody because of the fact that they won’t see them ever again. People just come and go in and out of your life.  I have no need to get to know anybody over here. They’re all pretty much non-descript to me and I won’t need them anyways. Anyways, I’m out of here so fuck them all.

I can’t believe that Carla Nash will not have her day in Court. This damn state is so full of shit. They knew damn well that the bitch who was Nash’s boss had that damn chimp yet they did nothing to avoid what happened to Carla. Now she has to try and get some type of peace of mind only for this corrupted state with its stupid ass governor to deny her the right to sue the state. Well, isn’t that peachy. I feel for her. I think she should get the money to at least pay off her medical bills. It IS because of the state, who were aware of the chimp’s strength and potential to attack a human being, that this woman is disfigured and blind.  I can’t even imagine what the family’s going through with the outcome of the attack.  All she wants is to get her life back to normal, and she’s been living like this for a couple of years now.  I can just imagine who’s saying that she shouldn’t have been there to begin with. I guess she could’ve stayed home or whatever. I can’t say anything about the situation, but she’s in terrible shape, while that crazy bitch is dead. Good for the other lady to fucking die, now Carla has to live with her disfigurement. Man, I have gone through a lot and this almost losing my ability to walk really woke me up. I can’t keep drinking the way that I have. It will eventually kill me or I will kill myself sooner or later if I keep it up. I need to wake up and stop fucking around. I can’t afford to die and I can’t afford to keep running into these problems.

 

04-01-14

Happy April Fools, everybody

recipes to look up

 

three bean salad:

 

1/2 cp kidney beans

1/2 cp wax beans

1/2 cp green beans

dressing: look up online

 

=-=-=-=-=-=

tomato and basil salad:

2 cpsTomato

1 Sprig of basis

1 Tablespoon of olive oil

1 Tablespoon of vinegar

 

            One thing I’ve learned since leaving the public dole is: in order to make money, you have to spend money. You don’t get anything for free without a caveat.

            So, John Rowland’s gotten into hot water again. He should lose his radio show, but his fans love him to death and still claim he was the best governor to ever come out since Ella Grasso, who happened to be a democrat. He was the worst governor who couldn’t balance the budget even if it was in rudimentary math, yet he’s got all of these “great ideas” coming out of his mouth now that he’s out of office. What a prick. Sure, act like you can do a great job. Why don’t you try running for governor again? The thing is that you make yourself look good on paper and on radio, but you’re really aren’t and were not a great governor.

7: 52am

BP: 116/87                                                                                                                             Rate: 81

Temp 97.7

OMFG, the nerve of this prick telling me that a cell phone owned by one of the facility’s workers was better than his “state phone” what the fuck? When the fuck did the state start issuing phones to people? are you fucking kidding me? This fucking moron was complaining about a free phone? I should’ve bitch-slapped his ass. motherfucker had some nerve to complain.  I swear these fucking parasites are a pain in the fucking ass. I can’t stand how they get away with shit like that. this punk motherfucker was able-bodied and everything. He’s a fucking volunteer at this facility, it’s not like he’s injured or handicapped. I swear these assholes get on my fucking nerves when they complain about the shit they get for free.  If I were to run for any type of office I would run as an independent and then make my policies more libertarian than anything because I think that all of us deserve to be free of government involvement at all costs. I may not be completely republican, but I have an understanding of what their core values are about. The minute you take anything from the government, there’s always a caveat to it. For all I know he’s limited to what he can do with the phone. I don’t care for that shit because I think that if I paid for my s hit I should not be limited to shit if I am paying for such conveniences. When my mom got food stamps, we were limited to what we bought, and that was only food, not clothes nor stuff like electronics. And when it came to the WIC program, there were certain cereals you could buy alone, and they weren’t favored by anybody in the ghetto. They all were non-sugary shit like Total. I like Total though, so to me it was nothing to have for breakfast. There were people I used to work with in the public sector, who, even though they had a fucking job, still took WIC checks. They would brag about the sugary shit they would get. They didn’t realize how much of a contribution they were making towards diabetes being in their future.  so in reality, they weren’t getting away with shit, they were just killing themselves and they didn’t even know it. They make it look like they don’t know why they have Diabetes, but all they have to do is look at themselves in the mirror and blame themselves for their stupid behavior. I’m starting to realize that doing wrong isn’t always going to work no matter how slick you think you are at getting away with it. It eventually catches up to you sooner or later, if not in consequences, then in health or consciousness. I say consciousness because it does get passed down to your offspring if you think you’re doing anything wrong. If you ever wanted to have a good child, you won’t because of the shit you did when you were younger. It comes back to bite you in the ass sooner or later and you should just get used to that. I have seen friends whose children grow up to be assholes and disrespect them, etc. they don’t realize that their kids are emulating them, but if you were to bring that up, they will go off on you with their ghetto attitudes. This happened to Tanya Wright, Iris, & Fredricka Rose (I’m sure her kids will be all fucked up as adults, that is for sure)…these ghetto hoes either abandoned their kids or were too selfish to pay full attention to their kids. Running around like a hot ass fucking dudes left and right, acting like they have no responsibilities all the being over 30s

            3:04 pm

so today I was told, “I know you want to leave on Thursday, but can we make it Friday?”then began to give me some bullshit about it taking weeks and weeks before they could approve my leave. Then this bitch asks “how do you plan on leaving here” and I was under the impression that I was going to be sent home by them.  Now this rubbed me the wrong way.  . when I was scheduled last Thursday for an exit on this Thursday.  This wasn’t scheduled a couple of weeks ago, it was scheduled last week, when I was spoken to . Well, I don’t believe her so I’m not buying that shit.

Her bullshit excuse leads me to believe that:

A.  Trinity is trying to get an extra $500 from me to stay here

B. she’s too lazy to arrange my departure. Now if you want to act like you don’t want to do some extra work. Then, you will have to think about that before I get pissed off.

I’m thinking the former is happening, because she pulled that shit on another resident and he even told me that they extended his stay an extra four days because they needed to complete a whole month’s fee for the insurance company. I can tell when someone is trying to take extra money from me or my insurance company. I’m not going to stay until Friday so Thursday I am leaving whether this bitch likes it or not.

I AM NOT paying for a fucking cab to take me home. Let the insurance company pay for it because I’m not going to pay no $500 for no fucking ride when I could just take the cab, and if I have to take the cab, then I’m taking it on Thursday, when I initially wanted to leave, not no fucking Friday, OK, Chelsea? This broad must be crazy.

See, when it comes to money, a lot of people get funny with you. They want to charge you for every fucking thing you do at their facility. You take a dump, there’s a charge for that, you buy some bandages, there’s a charge for that too. Not only is there a charge, but the bandages are way more expensive than bandages at CVS, where I can get them at a lower price. I am not trying to pay no motherfucking $500 to stay here an extra fucking day, bitch. Now you’ve gotten on my fucking nerves. This is when you don’t get along with administrators. I doubt I ever did get along with them, because it’s all about business to them.  That excuse about it taking weeks for them to rearrange for me to leave was bullshit, I mean really?  Then why the fuck did you give me a date a week earlier. They’re trying to take me for a fool, because I’ll be damned if all of a sudden they’re acting like they’re state run. This is a private company so I’m nog falling for this.  They could tell me that the sky was going to turn grey and they can’t manage to get me home so soon, and I’d have to take it in stride. pulled the same shit on another resident.  I’m not trying to have that, so I will take the cab home. I will have no other choice but to do this, because they are treating me like someone they don’t give a fuck about. I’m sorry, but I’m taking my ass home on Thursday. I will come up with my appointment being on Friday and so I can’t afford to stay here until Friday. I will tell her early so that I can go out and get me some money for my leave on Thursday morning, not in the afternoon. I hope I can leave that early because I really don’t want to be here that much longer.  This bitch must be fucking crazy, and I’ll be damned if I’m taken for a chump. I’m going to leave on Thursday and that’s it. My therapists say that I’m good to go and I feel like I’m already set to go home so I’m going home earlier than thought. Hell, I could probably go back to work as soon as I get home, but I’m going to milk the FMLA thing for a bit longer so I can get better and see If I can use

4:50pm

145/84

I know,  I know,b ut my blood pressure is up because I am getting heated the more I think about the shit they just pulled on me. The C.N.A. that just took my blood pressure just asked why I keep getting my blood checked when I’m doing fine, which is yet another thing that seems off, because she would know if things like this are weird as she’s worked here for a while and is a professional. This is when you make friends with the people who work for the Administrators. I swear these administrators are acting shady as fuck, but are sloppy about it. I’m not that damn dumb. I can walk my ass out of here if I wanted to get out. I could even take off by using the emergency exit, but I will see what this bitch says to me tomorrow after I leave therapy, because I am good. I don’t feel any pain when I walk on my “bad” foot and I am having more discomfort than anything so I am not trying to be here no longer than fucking Thursday. I hope to leave by then because I’ll be damned if I’m still here after that day.

OK, so after talking to my girl, I will agree that staying until Friday will be the thing to do. I wasn’t guaranteed Thursday anyways, so Friday I will be leaving. No need to make a big fuss. I just got my mail after it being out for about two weeks. I am going to have to talk to the lady from Human Resources because she never really faxed the information to the healthcare center.  When I’d spoken to the social worker, I’d asked her if she’d received my information. She did not but said that she said she was going to fax Trinity information on my situation for FMLA or whatever. I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s starting to piss me off now. I can’t be dealing with all of these fuck ups of which I’m not to blame for. I mean, what the hell. Why do I find out NOW that I had 15 days to claim Family Medical Leave if I was sent that shit to my actual address and not where I’m staying. Are you telling me that I have to start work on Monday morning?

            Whoa, I just saw a story about a black kid who just got offered to go to Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, and five other Ivy League schools. His family’s from Ghana, and he got a 2250 on his SATs. Talk about breaking stereotypes. Love it when something like this happens. See what happens when you give people a chance to prove themselves. For a very long time,  White people were thought to be the smartest people in the world they still are viewed as such, but now we have latinos and blacks breaking them stereotypes because of being given a chance, and  that’s awesome. I am just wowed over this. Of course I’m going to find people saying that he’s smart because he’s not African American, he’s plain ol’ African, much like Obama is.

            If there’s one thing I learned from life,  it’s to never trust anybody, not even people who act friendly around you, those are the first ones to hit you up on the sly. I swear a lot of people in here are just that, slick ass people who say sweet shit to make you befriend them, only to fuck around and stab you in the back when you entrust them when you start trusting them.

03-31-14                                                                                                                                                               3:11a.m.

 

                I am watching this movie called “Wolf” starring Jack Nicholson. I didn’t even realize that it was over 20 years old(1994)  when I’d first seen it, I didn’t think much of it, but I was probably bouncing from one apartment to another back then because of moving around with roommates and shit. Anyways. This movie is so old, I hadn’t realized how old it was until now. The first thing that got my curiosity was the computer monitors. It was a monochrome monitor where the colors consisted of just blue and grey on and nothing else. Only two whole colors for an editing program. I DO remember using programs in the 80s and 90s and even using the computers when they were harder to work with since it was more of a “RUN” type of deal where you couldn’t turn it on without sticking a floppy disk into the disk drive and then letting it run through the program on the disk. I doubt it had any RAM back then because it would have run without it. It did not have a hard drive and if it did it, it was the biggest bulkiest hard drive ever seen in my eyes, and let’s not get into the memory capacity in it, lol. This brings me back to when I started going to school over at Manchester community TECHNICAL college. This was when the schools in CT, the local state schools were all TECHNICAL. They were changed to just plain community after 2008 or something. I remember the transition and how I had attained my associates by the time I’d gotten out of there in 2008, took me about 10 years to get out, but I did. I remember I was dating Nakia Rivera at the time, and boy was it something to be around her. She was such a bitch to be around. I’m surprised I even graduated because she was such a pain in the ass as a girlfriend.

                It’s crazy, but that guy from the show “Friends” Ross, was in the movie, as a security guard for a zoo, lol….what a trip this is. This movie was very underrated. I mean Nicholson was a great looking wolf. He already had those ice col Lycan-like eyes. There’s even the guy from the 80s movie “Pretty In Pink” and even Michelle Phieffer. Talk about a great cast of actors. I think this movie was pretty cool. I thought it was cool 20 yrs ago, and I think it’s cool today. Beats that movie, “Skin Walkers” which looked like bullshit with their funny looking werewolves. “Underworld” was cool, but it focused more on Vampires than the Lycans,two of the myths that Love reading about the most. When it came to myths and stuff of the mystical kind, I was always reading about them.

 I will bet you that I have a record for reading so many books. I would take out a book almost daily from my local library. Every single day I would go to the library because I didn’t have friends that lived nearby to me. One writer who stuck out to me was Edgar Allen Poe. He sure was strange. I read a lot of his books and even a book on him. It got into his life and his addiction to opium or something to that effect. He was a weird guy. 

A lot of people don’t realize how much I read, but I’ve always been an avid reader.i know about a lot of things because I practically grew up in the library and have never really left it. Some people like to call me “book-smart” because they don’t read and find that my reading books is somewhat awkward, when the real deal is that they are the dumbasses who decided to not follow shit in school nor read a book long enough for them to talk about it. I hate people who don’t read books because it means they little to nothing to talk about. It usually shows when you talk to them. Eventually I do ask them if they ever picked up a book.  Some will lie and say that they do, but they aren’t convincing me because they have jack shit to talk about. I don’t really care for fiction readers because they read about fantasies and shit. Nothing ever comes out of reading fiction. I’d rather know someone who reads books on non-fiction subjects because you learn a lot more by doing so. It’s the best way to get information on your own. If you were to take everything that someone takes you for their worth, you might end up being misled by someone’s misguided (and more than likely biased) opinion/s on whatever. You might end up brain-washed because you decided to take their word for it. I’m not that type of person. I question everything everybody tells me, even when they are being genuine. Most times people aren’t genuine so that makes me the more paranoid around them. I can’t trust most people for the most part. They always find a way to snake their way into your life and try to bleed you dry. Especially your own people, by this I mean my own fellow Puerto Ricans. These assholes try to f**k me over just because I’m the same radce as them. those tend to be your worst enemies. They take advantage just because they think we have some solidarity from being PRs, I don’t fall for that shit no matter how friendly these niggas are. That’s usually the catch among most of these idiots. They come around when they need you, take what they want, then leave you alone and don’t bother you until they can get some money out of you again. This shit even happened in my own family. That’s the reason I don’t talk to most of them or I just forgot about them and I don’t ever talk to them because I always hear the same shit and their money problems. Somehow someway, they always find a way to segue their conversations into some money woes, and it’s just not me anymore. They used to love coming to me for money. Perfect examples are my two younger brothers, Armando and Luis, both of these low lives would come to me all of the time asking me for money. Mando was especially bold in asking me for money so that he could go out to a club. The nerve of this idiot. Luis would travel all the way from another state to ask me for money, and BOTH would give me some guilt trip if I gave resistance to their request.  Why don’t you just grow up and realize I’m not going to be there all of the time when you need money. Luis was great with his excuses and his stupid little sob stories. He’s in a wheel chair now, so he’s where he deserves. I could care less about him. As for Mando, lmao, he’s a Parking Lot manager, lol…what that means is that he plays musical chairs with cars, lol…but he tries to make it look like it’s a career. He’s the most creative of all when it comes to lies. This motherf**ker’s always been an underachiever, yet believes he does everything better than anybody else. He’s always been my shadow, but he’s afraid to admit it. A nurse called me into her office one time when we were in High school telling me that he’d been distraught of my ignoring him. Mind you this nurse was white, and white people love being sympathetic towards minorities. They also love being nosey to the point of annoying me. I told her he didn’t tell me anything nor showed any signs when I was around him at home and I was at work most of the time anyways.  Man, Mando(or should I call him Man2) has been a bitch ever since that shit yet acts like he’s family to me. I don’t really care for him, nor his whereabouts, nor what he does in life, so he can just piss off. His friends are a bunch of crackheads the he doesn’t know how to let go of, and his love life, well, I doubt he has one, because he’s always had problems with women. He already looks older than me even though he’s two years younger than me. I guess that’s what alcohol does to you if you don’t control your intake. Alcohol makes you age fast, and it shows in my brother, everybody from my ex-girlfriends to my own friends think that my brother’s older than me, lol. I am glad that I’m not a lush like my brother because he sure is looking old. He’s even balding and has gained so much weight. Being 5’11” and weighing 211 lbs isn’t a good look. Keep being a gluttonous f**k, Mando. When you develop Diabetes(it’s just bound to happen) then you might calm your ass down, but I highly doubt it.  Everytime I told to do something just because it was for your own good, you would go the other way because you wanted to be your own man who could make his own decisions. Little do you know that you can’t make a conscious decision to save your own life, moron.

It was really funny when I noticed you being an online rapper, Mando. And your claim that you got your talent from your dad was hilarious. Nigga you got that shit from me. If you’re so talented, why did it take you forever to come out with your hidden talent for music. Why did it take you 30 yrs to come out, bitch? huh? Because you never had talent. Not an inch of talent in you and you never will have it. You are just trained.  You’ve always tried to be Maci, because Maci knew how to speak his mind and think on his own. You tried drawing because I did it, you went looking for a job when I did it. You even got the nerve to TRY and rap. You became a rapper at the age of 30, claiming you got that shit form your dad. Nigga you can’t rap, lol. I remember that hilarious video of yours that you took all over your apartment. It looked like you never left the house, lmao. But you’re a rapper. You never even produced your own original tape/record. You just posted it up online or burned it on a regular CD-R, nothing special about that because you didn’t spend any money on your own project. Oh, But you’re also a man of GOD now. That’s the most laughable because when in doubt, put all of your hopes and dreams in the care of “GOD”. Great, but God isn’t going to help you with your health moron. And you’re, it’s no wonder your girl dropped your ass and took on another low-life nigga to be her man. You couldn’t amount to shit around her. And she seemed like a good person, even if she was just as much a low-life as you (yet another medical field worker who is NOT a doctor.) She did manage to find another guy though, even if the guy looks borderline gay, lol. But those are the choices you make in women, lol. And I will bet you that you have never dated a teacher or a law school student, where as I have. My choice in women is that of a mature man who knows what he wants out of a woman, and a ghetto chick is not for me. After my few scuffles with them ghetto hoes, I got tired of them hoes. They’re too much of a headache.  The pussy is so easy to get that you could run the risk of catching an STD.  What was it that your social media page said about you and your girl, “love isn’t hard, you just have to WORK AT IT” was that correct? Lol…I guess you got lazy and started slacking in that department. Lol…you’re just a funny story to tell people.

You can be friends with my best friend if you’d like. I’m sure you wanted to make him your friend forever since you’ve been trying to be friends with my boys. You must’ve thought it was going to piss me off, but I’ll give it this much mention, lol.  Little do you know I’ve moved on from those types of people. I really don’t need his friendship. He hasn’t progressed much further than living vicariously through his four children. It’s all he’s accomplished in life. He knows I don’t approve of him living the way he does, and that’s the reason why I leave him alone andrarely contact him or his family. I used to be alone when it came to hanging out with him and he was too busy hanging out with losers who  he thought were his friends. Now he finds himself yearning to hang out with me, much like you used to do as a child, lol. You two should just grow up. It is sad that you both thinking like adolescents. I don’t need either of you in my life and I’m pretty much happy being by myself if some people can’t stand my personality. I don’t like pretending and I never have pretended to be any other person but myself.  Your poor excuse is that you’re a Gemini, but you’re only following what you read in the horoscope, because it gives you guidance in life since you don’t have anything to guide you. The funny part is that you consider yourself my brother, lol  I relieve your of your duties as my brother until you pay back the debt that you owe me. I don’t need people of your ilk because you’re a parasite. You are much like my boy who tried to get money from me so he could buy himself drugs and start selling again only to lose the money and never pay me back. My, how shady some people get when it comes to money. Good thing he didn’t keep pushing for it because that would’ve ended our friendship. My friendship to him is much like most friendships on social media: yeah, we get along, we just don’t hang out like that anymore. I can’t say I’m surprised about your weight gain. You never amounted to shit and you probably never will. I wouldn’t expose my kids to you if I had them. I know you don’t have children because I don’t. You’re just a follower.  You’re killing me with your emulation of me. Don’t you have better things to do like park cars or something? Your life isn’t much so you have to act like Maci in order to make yourself relevant to people who, otherwise, would never deal with you.

03-31-14

BP: 138/85                                                                                                                                                                    HRate – 85

TEMP 97.9

8:03 am

OMFG, it is snowing, are you kidding me? And it is snowing hard too? DAMN, it better look good when I get back home because that shit looks ridiculous. I looked outside and it was pouring out white like no tomorrow. I can’t believe it. Oh, my God.  I thought they were playing an April Fool’s joke on me or something. What is up with this weather.  I swear I need to get out of here so I can just walk or whatever. I just want to walk home. I am feeling like I can use a cane nowadays and I would like to order one if possible. If not I will buy one at the Arrow pharmacy near my place. No biggie. I am all set for coming back to work and equipped with some of the finest equipment too.

                OK, I took a nap and now it’s one in the afternoon. Hopefully the rest of the day is cool and I don’t have to deal with nonsenseJ

                What it with people, well radio personalities, asking celebrities when they started doing it?  I wouldn’t say anything about that. Why even go there? What does it matter to you. So Nick Cannon “smashed” Mariah Carey. I wouldn’t touch Mariah’s ass with a ten foot pole, as much dick as that bitch’s had

                I love how this fat resident, Luz, who happens to be taking state healthcare assistance, is acting like she’s still feeling like she’s not recuperated.  She knows damn well that she’s fine, but she’s got to game the system. These are the parasites that I rave about almost on a daily basis. I can’t stand people like her, because they know they will get that FREE assistance, and this will only leave people who REALLY need the facility’s help on hold due to this fat, ugly, ghetto bitch.  these types of people exhaust the state funded resources while those who really need help will be set to the side.  I don’t blame the facility workers, because they can’t tell exactly if someone’s in pain or not, but this projuect bunny wants to be treated like a queen. She needs to wake up because she’s not going to last long as fat as she is. The facility workers have to use an engine hoist to lift her fat ass and place on an electric wheel chair. I’m here using a regular wheelchair because I really want to walk again, but this waste of human flesh doesn’t even bother exercising so she could walk by herself.  I hate bitches like her and when I meet them, I don’t want to get to know nor do I try to get to know them. They’re annoying with their simple minds and their stupid conversations. They just don’t know how to relate to someone like me. I’ve been around these dumbasses and they can never come up with an intelligent conversation. Their conversations teeter on stupid.  It’s like they are trying hard to impress me, but fail at every turn. It’s just that they are too dumb to hold a conversation with me. I’m beyond them, and they know it. Some try to put me down or downplay my intelligence by making stupid comments about me, but that shows how insecure they are.  I don’t react to their stupid shit because they’re not worth any sort of reaction to begin with. Now, between “Luz” and the other fat bitch residing in this health care center, they are both neck and neck with how ghetto they are. They make all of these stupid demands as if people are supposed to succumb to their whims.  No one cares about your needs. And they’re so nosey. They butt into everybody’s business when they should sit down somewhere and shut the f**k up. I’m not trying to pay them any mind since I am here until Thursday, then I’m out of here. As for the rest of the residents here, I can only get along with so many Latin folks in here. The black residents are also a pain in the neck . This one character, Howard Dotts, hogs the TV in the public viewing area when he’s got a TV in his room to watch the Final Four basketball games. He even took control of the TV while people were watching it themselves. I wanted to slap his one-foot-having ass for pulling such a stupid stunt. He acts all entitled and shit. I’m sorry but there’s something about some people that prevents them from doing beyond the bare minimum. I’ve worked with plenty of them to know that I’d rather not work with them until they prove they do the job correctly and proficiently. White people may be scared of black folks pulling the race card and citing discrimination or whatever, but I don’t care. I complain about all types of incompetent workers, even my own Ricans. You can’t rely on anybody these days.  These Ricans around me think I’m going to hook them up when it comes to them finding jobs, but they are sadly mistaken. I am not here to hook anybody up. You better prove your worth to my supervisor/s or my organization. I remember when my former co-workers mentioned applying for a position in my department. I was discouraging them from doing so, but they were adamant about getting a job there. I don’t want to work with former co-workers from my former library job because a lot of them are plain lazy. They don’t understand that I’ve moved on, but they were going to find out how much of an asshole I would become towards them.  I’m sorry, but once I move on to another job, I don’t like communicating with them, I don’t add them to a list of references because I really don’t need them. I tend to use former supervisors as references instead because they were aware of what I did. I never did a bad job around them either. Sometimes I do think some folks I used to work with would f**k around with reference talks because they would hate to see me make some progress. These are the lazy motherf**kers who will never leave the job that I left. They will never leave that job because it’s the only good job they have, they aren’t fit for anything else beyond what they already have. And if they try to get a job elsewhere they won’t get it regardless. It’s sad to say, but a lot of Puerto Ricans rely on this type of behavior from their own people just because we’re all in the same race.  I’m sorry, but I won’t allow myself to go through that bullshit.

                Finally, this bullshit show “How I met the Whore of your mother” is off the air, GOD, I hate that show so much. I don’t care for NPH’s gay ass being on the show either. The show made no sense what-so-ever. I don’t care for the stupid show at all. It’s just a filler to kill time on that channel. I know that most comedies end up with stupid endings, but damn if this one made not points at all. I think this one just showed everybody was f**king one another, how many times did one or the other guy f**k one of the girls?. Seriously, this was just a stupid show. I’m glad it’s gone and I can’t wait to NOT see it next week J…too many shows arer just like this. They have no direction and have that dry stupid humor we all know and love. Most of the time they were all doing the same shit: f**king each other, and switching up who they were f**king. All the while being friends. Is that what all sitcoms are about these days: Sex?  How these shows pass on to become best comedies is beyond me. I don’t really like this stupid show, much like I don’t like Friends, Sienfield, two and a half dicks, etc. they’re just stupid shows. There’s a new stupid show called “Friends with Better Lives” I mean what the hell. It’s no wonder I don’t watch that much TV. It’s all a bunch of filler that you really don’t need to fill your life with. Most of the shit you see does nothing to benefit your life. They just drain you and waste your time. It’s all a waste of time, seriously. I guess I really am not into TV that much, it’s too repetitive and boring. Most of the shows I’ve either seen before and don’t care to repeat seeing or are not interesting enough to grab my attention. I’m being weird, I know, but I would rather read a book or listen to rain fall(as I am now before I go to sleep)instead. I guess I do get bored easily and as I get older I find TV to be the most boring shit in the world. Sure I’ll watch some porn or whatever, or maybe even a movie, but I don’t care for a sitcom or a detective show. First of all, there are too many detective shows, and how much more paranormal shit do I have to see come out on Television these days. TV shows seem to be heading in a dark direction and it’s very depressing. There’s a show named “Believe” that’s pretty laughable because I don’t care for paranormal shit anymore. Oh, then there’s Crisis, which seems to teeter on “Saw”-esque shit where of graphic violence is the  norm. Oh, there’s “The Following”, which looks weird, “intelligence”, which borders on RoboCop, lol…too many of the shows make you reminisce of prior shows that were way better.  I’m just waiting on them to come up with a new “Max Headroom” on TV. That’s all we need, some more regurgitated shows from the past redone to reflect contemporary issues.

                Maybe I’m exaggerating but I know that most of the new shows have very bad actors and actresses. I just don’t think any shows are worth my time and spending time watching TV while in this facility proves how boring TV can really be. How people get stuck on things on TV is beyond me. I just don’t watch TV like that. I’m not saying I’m too important to watch TV but these shows were just not appealing to me.